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| jordanlynn 2007-07-21 ch 17,  | abuseGreat story...Update soon please... |
| D.J. Scales 2007-04-03 ch 17, | abuseI'm sure it will look good when it is finished. |
| Angela986 2007-04-02 ch 17, | abuseI can't wait for more! I've been following this story from the beginning and it's awesome! The first several chapters brought tears to my eyes, but these later chapters are better on the emotions. Great job. Please update soon! |
| Space-Case7029 2007-04-01 ch 17, | abuseGood chapter. I would think Sydney would want to go with them to look, also. Looking forward to more. Audra |
| anabuhnahnuh 2007-04-01 ch 17, | abusegreat chapter. it was too short though, i LOVE long chapters. but i will definitly be back around looking for an update! :D |
| roadrunner74 2007-04-01 ch 17, | abusehey girl, glad I could help you break the block! great first part, can't wait for the next! :) roadrunner74 |
| D.J. Scales 2006-11-15 ch 3, | abuseJust to clarify, did Angela's rapist use a condom or not? |
| anabuhnahnuh 2006-08-17 ch 16, | abusecontinue |
| stareagle 2006-07-31 ch 16, | abuseSo glad that you continue to write. I like this story and am eager to see how you will handle the interview and family support. This is such a difficult situation. I thought newspapers weren't allowed to print juvenile identities, but I guess if the criminal blabs it, the papers will print. |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 15, | abuseI think you should separate Sydney's story from Angela's. Continue until it wraps describing the aftermath of the kidnapping for Angela but don't short change the new story by adding it to this one. It looks like Alex may have a story to tell as well. I hope you'll continue and tell them both. |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 13, | abuseWell done. Your writing has really improved from the first chapter. I like the lead-in to a possible story about Sydney and something in her past which is bothering her. |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 12, | abuseAgain, this is nicely written. You're getting better at transitioning scenes and character actions have been captured perfectly. |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 11, | abuseThis is very, very well done. I'm just sorry it took you so long to develop the story to this degree. I do hope you'll consider going back to previous chapters and giving them the same treatment as this one. Well done! |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 10, | abuseThe dialogue is rich and believable but the scenario isn't. Walker didn't talk to this guy long enough to get a trace. I still want to know why Tim is doing this. You have an opportunity to explain this here and it would enhance the story if you do. Have Walker ask that question; the answer should give Trivette enough time to believably get that trace. |
| TygerMoon Foxx 2006-06-07 ch 9, | abuseThese separate accounts are well written but they need something to join them. In previous chapters you've mentioned that the girls are a lot like Walker and you've talked about Melissa's ability to sense when something has happened. I'd link these two with a vision: give Angela just a little bit of hope and give Walker just a little bit of insight. To the reader, it doesn't look like much is being done about the kidnapping at all. |