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| Dranzen 2006-03-25 ch 1,  | abuseThe beginning made me burst out laughing...loudly. It was bad, in a good way. xD You are a very talented writer~! And I bet you're sick of me by this point. > |
| Amme Moto 2005-12-24 ch 1, | abuseMy holiday story isn't all that happy, either. T_T Lol. I still liked it though. Merry Christmas! |
| Trillian4210 2005-12-23 ch 1, | abuseHi there. So, I've been seeing your name aroud quite a bit as you post a good deal of stories. I think that's great..always keep writing and creating. The only thing I would say is to slow down and take your time with your fics. I read this one and the Atton-with-a-gun fic and they strike me as having a similiar quality and that is flashes of real excellent writing and imagination but the fic as a whole is rushed and somehow incomplete. For instance, in this one, the themes/emotions/mood of it are all over the place. I can't tell if this is a comedy, drama, angst, or what, coupled with some real zingers...Carth getting birth control for a present? I'm just confused as all get out by that one. That said, you have some real wonderful turns of phrase and talent, like in this line: "Tears ran down her cheeks, burning them. His hands were hot against her skin, even as he tried to soothe her, and the anguish was overwhelming. She wrapped herself in her fiery loss, tangling herself in the fires of her defeat, and he claimed her, a dancing flame to light up the night." That's great but it doesn't feel like it belongs in this fic. Here is my suggestion, take or leave it as you will. SLOW DOWN. Find the mood of your fic and stick to it. That's doesn't mean a drama can't have comedic moments and vice-versa, but the overall theme of the fic needs to be clear. Also, if you find yourself writing one fic and it turns into something else, don't just post it. Go over it, edit it, find out what story it is your are trying to tell and then tell that one. By no means am I suggesting you not post a lot or stop writing...just take a little time with your work so that your readers get a whole fic instead of one that you--given your disclaimers--aren't entirely happy with too. Cheers, Trillian |
| killerwolf 2005-12-23 ch 1, anon. | abusecute story i loved it! |