I haven't read it, and I won't unless you promise to update. Almost every AF fanfic author I know has something that they abandoned, and it's beginning to bug me. :(

Awesome story so far! I like your Artemis. This seems like the real one. Butler, however, seems a little OOC...
Anyways, I can smell a good story brewing...
UPDATE! Pweeze? And why do you need someone to edit your story?

*dying with suspense* No, update! haha

O...I smell a good story brewing...And why do you need help? The intro was a bit slow, but other than that, I thought the opening was pretty good. The only thing that REALLY stood out was that you didn't indent.

Excellent story. Your Artemis feels like the real one, and that's not very easy to manage.

Now, Butler. I consider him very intelligent, but some of his lines are simply not realistic. He's the kind to keep his respect to the Principal at all times; the snappy, cheeky kind of replies are more of Juliet's style, and while Domovoi can easily be funny when he wants to, he wouldn't be so... well, 'disrespectful' with Artemis. After all, that's why he's got his tatoo of a blue diamond and Juliet doesn't (not that she's disrespectful, only that she cares little for social conventions).

As stated by earlier repliers, you have several typos and lack of spacing between words. That's easy to fix with a spellchecker, please do so. Also, some sentences are a bit confusing because of their length. Try breaking your paragraphs a little to make it easier to read. As for the rest, you're doing an excellent job and it would be nice if you continued this one.

But please, please. Don't make it an Artemis/Butler thing. Your story is going perfectly without having to insert a non-canon element like that. Don't let it become yet another of those wish-fulfilling ones out there, this one's got potential to rise above the sad average. Please notice also (you and everyone reading this review), that my stance is not against homosexuality or anything like it, but against misrepresentation of pre-made characters (I've been thrown in that category before for defending canon, so I'm not paranoic this time). I can fully understand, though, that you find love between Butler and Artemis; if it wasn't for the canon nazi inside me that yells "Not-canon!" whenever something slides dangerously that way, I'd be able to see at once that they have a brotherly love for each other, and not having such thought as a second option.

Sorry for ranting on this space; I hope you update this one soon and if my suggestions are useful in any way, I'll be very happy.

very nice plot developing here.
it would help a lot if u could elaborate on
a) how holly and mulch ended up in prison exactly
b)why hasn't mulch tried to escape yet, we know he can
c)who else is in rebellion
d)any other amazing inventions foaly has come up with, i mean honestly, sounds like sool isn't a foaly-type-genius, so foaly could end the whole thing with a cool invention
~ but then you wouldn't have a plot

so, as u read this and roll your eyes in exasperation, keep writing and i'll keep flaming

I'm back
i applaud at showing butler's loyalty, you've built on vocabulary but, once again, watch the humor

it's artemis fowl for heaven's sake

hello fair people of the world of fan fiction! the dark flamer has returned!

i commend you, a decent fic and your first one as well
a few tips in the future, yes butler may be developing a sense of humor, but after his bouts of depression, i'd think artemis wouldn't
if artemis hasn't lost any intellegence, be sure to keep up with the usual large vocabulary

stay tuned my friend, because i will return

Wow, run-ons... that whole beginning section is a little thick. You might want to break it up a bit, make it more readable.

Well, interesting chapter. There's some funny things going on with capitalization and punctuation again, but it isn't too bad.

I like how Foaly handles the situation. Very creative; most people would just have them caught normally.

Well, not much happened in this chapter. Update, please?

I like this. I like it rather a lot.

Your dialouge is good to me -- used to good effect in characterisation with interactions between characters. Foaly's arrogant speech stands out here. “You open your upper hatch and then, you earn your money … fly-boy.”“Just do it; you need to catch something” -- One small thing on that piece of dialouge: the addition of "Foaly was irritated." That slows down the exchange, and it is unessecary. If you use dialouge correctly, you should be able to tell from the way he spoke that he was irritated. Which you can, which is why you don't need it! :)

Your characterisations, then, are also good. Artemis's thoughts and actions are very in character. And when they are not (for example when he is thinking about missing the fairies) you handle them very well so they aren't out of character, but simply an extension on Colfer's characterisations, if that makes sense.

Some of your paragraphs *are* long -- could use backspacing or an enter key or two in there. You do provide *lots* of background information, but you have an interesting way of presenting it, and most of it is interesting in itself, if not all relevant. Apart from your side-narratives (like the one about Sool's rise to power) there is not much actual description in your work. Its these side narratives that also tend to turn into super!paragraphs too. Apart from some semi-frequent punctuation mistakes which could be easily fixed with a beta or even a self-edit, your grammar and spelling and such is fine too.

I like your work, and am looking forward to further updates.

~Kim.

Interesting story. It's a tad rough but I'm sure that your excellent writing makes up for the rougher points. Is this Artemis/Butler slash? You might want to break up your larger paragraphs, they make the story difficult to read. Good job. Update soon.

Mm. Good so far:

I like your characterization of Artemis. His dialogue seems slightly more whimsical than it ought to be, but it's understandable given the context. His thoughts especially are very much IC.

The biggest flaw in it is your very parenthetical writing: it's so inconcise, which makes it les articulate and thus harder to read. It's nothing a quick beta reader can't handle - do you have a beta, by the way? You're obviouly a good writer, you'd only improve with one.

I like this. Update!