Wow, you're really improving your writting skills and lengthening your chapters and stories. That's great. This was a cute and touching story. You did a wonderful job on it.

I highly encourage you to write more!

^^ I think this is one of your best one-shots. You're getting better at making things longer and in putting details in, and that really makes things look so much better. It's a cute storyline, too.

Just a couple of things: Victoria's entrance seems too sudden. It would be better to do a paragraph of Christien's thoughts or something, and then for Victoria's voice to suddenly startle him from his reverie.

Also, here's a typo: Christien called out, running over.” There shouldn't be a closing quotation thingie there. XD;