Reviews for Losing Naruto - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Losing Naruto - Reviews: Page 1 of 45

Jack Shit 2008-09-12 ch 22,	abuselove your story and pls keep updating
The Wolf Maiden 2008-09-06 ch 5,	abuseActually, I think that's a pretty good ending point. Sad? Yes. Strange? Not sure... Bad? No, of course not. So far, these last two chapters are the funniest. And Hinata is so profound. The clouds ARE cloudy! I wonder why I had not realized it myself! All sarcasm aside, I think you've really hit the nail on the head with Hinata's reasons for her crush on Naruto. Honestly, I think it's more than a crush. And Sakura's reactions to them all are hilarious. Though not as funny her Inner Conflicts. I can't think of any real improvements your story needs thus far so I have no idea why you're surprised that people are reviewing this. And it's better to have short chapters with good endings rather than long chapters with awkward, choppy endings. Believe me, I would know. If your story were an actual book, you would expect there to see a chapter break instead of a chapter change between 'Inner Conflicts' and 'Hinata's Reasons.' I'm not saying you should combine them though. That would just screw everyone up as far as reviewing goes. I don't mean to sound nit-picky but chapter titles are still titles. It doesn't take away from the quality of the story in the least bit, but I just want to make sure you know that chapter titles should have the same sort of capitalizations as book titles. You'll notice it's like that in actual books. I wouldn't bother to tell you these things except I want to helpful as well as supportive. And since you're a better writer than I am there aren't a lot of things I can advice you on. I do think I should warn you about said-bookisms though. I skimmed back over the chapter to see if you used any and you did. Said-bookisms are words like cried, screamed, barked, lectured, or hissed used in place of said in a tagline. The only reason I know what said-bookisms and taglines are because of this writing club I'm in. Anyway, the only reason bookisms are bad are because they can distract the reader and they can make you sound like you're trying to sound smart. You don't have to worry much about it though since I didn't even notice them until I reread the chapter. Just keep in mind that said is not a swear word. If you want to know more about said bookisms just contact me. The club I'm in is an online one. I can give you the link to the page where they talk about if you'd like. Ugh, look at me go on. I bet this review is about half the length of the chapter now. I may as well make it longer since I want to mention something before I forget again. In the first chapter, it's implied from the narration that Lee had still only taken the Chuunin exam once meaning that he should still be a Genin. However, this is contradicted when the narrator said that all of Gai's students were Chuunin now. You've probably noticed it by now but I figured I should mention it. Oh crap. I just realized you haven't updated this story since 2006. And none of the stories in your favorites were published any later than that year. You ARE still alive right? I just checked your homepage and, judging from that, you aren't dead. That's good. Now that I've confirmed your livelyhood I'll be reading the rest of your story, hoping you haven't forgotten about it completely.
The Wolf Maiden 2008-09-06 ch 1,	abuseQuite interesting so far. The summary is compelling and, despite what you think, the rewrite of the first chapter is good. I like that you actually described Sakura's and Gai's appearances. Most people wouldn't bother when writing fanfiction since the reader more than likely already knows what the characters look like. Kudos for not following the stereotype. And you've titled all of the chapters! I love that. Also, you didn't mention any definete pairings in the summary. I dislike when people do that myself since it can sort of spoil the ending and it removes any element of surprise in the romance. "What? Tenten rejected Lee's prosposal for a date? Oh, well, the summary said that this is LeeTen so that MUST mean she'll change her mind. I'll bet she'll somehow come to realize what a great guy Lee is." I notice this story has Naruto and Sakura listed as the main characters. I hope that isn't any foreshadowing. Not just because Hinata is my favorite. Well, okay, mostly because Hinata is my favorite character. But also because NaruHina is my favorite paring ^^ And Sakura has had dozens of chances to make Naruto her's. But then again... Hinata hasn't even taken a chance. Oh. I just made myself sad. ;( No, I'm not winking. That's a tear in my eye. Don't ask why it's going upward. I look forward to reading the rest of this. I just hope you update before I get to chapter 22.
Haruka2007 2008-07-07 ch 21,	abusewhat d hell is sakura playing at? what is WRONG WIV HER? i doubt she wud have not gone after hinata going to her and readng the letter. nhow much convincing does she need?! jeez! dont get me wrong this is a great fic but its frustrating at the same time!
MiKe2vIcIoUs 2008-06-15 ch 22,	abuseThis story is absolutely great. Even though it's not "finished," your last chap. could definitely tied up to be the last chapter. Well maybe I guess it could have used an epilouge. But I think it's great all the same. You did an awesome job.
GH0STWRITERX 2008-05-09 ch 1,	abuseHey this is by far the most well-written fic I've ever read... It's very emotional and romantic.. You miss are a true genius of the literary arts. that being said if you need help or got the case of the writer's block feel free to contact me... i simply can't stand seeing a good story on hold.
a reader 2008-04-10 ch 22, anon.	abuseWOW that was great i mean great i love hina naruto and sakura naruto so this was the best thing for me yet i still fell sorry that hinata loses naruto but she will get kiba or a o c and not garra RIGHT ...RITGH!?!?!?!?!?!? (please let me be right) whispers to self please update its been what now two years i am getting mad UPDATE NOW NNOW
LegendarySilverX 2008-03-26 ch 22,	abusesigh... That... This story... IT WAS JUST TOO BEAUTIFUL! X0 I almost cried in many of the chapters, which is kind of little hard to do since i read too many heart-wrenchers. This takes the cake! I never stopped story from the beginning. At first, it didn't sound very interesting of how the story first started out. But once I got into the later chapters, I was so intrigued that I started and finish(or at least caught up to 22) this story in ONE day! Kudos to you! I praise your author skills! Please do not stop this fanfiction! It MUST have an ending to it! That is a huge priority above all else! So please, I beseech that you finish this to the end! I await your next awe-inspiring chapter! ~LSX (And sorry if I could not give you more reviews to boost your story up, like for the other chapters, but since I have a horrible luck/curse of finding great things on the net too late, I stuck with just one measly review. Forgive me!)
WyldWolf 2008-01-08 ch 22,	abuseGood story. Listen to alot of songs for this story. Like Jealous Girl How Do I Breathe And Let Me Love You. Any way keep up the great work. Update whenever you.
aly247 2007-12-12 ch 22,	abuseWow! I love this story so much! I'm a NaruSaku fan and I loved it! It kept me wanting to read all night long and I did! So GREAT!
Iztiak 2007-12-10 ch 22,	abuseIt was obvious from the beginning it was going to be Naruto/Sakura. You wrote from her point of view far too often. In fact, I finally gave up around chapter 7 because I was tired of listening to Sakura angsting about how empty her life was. Or whatever she kept talking about. Anyway, it was an excellently written story as far as I read, I'm just not particluarly fond of Sakura. Well, I wish you luck with your writing :) Iztiak
#1 idiot 2007-11-20 ch 22, anon.	abuseGAH! -grabs head- WILL! YOU! JUST! UPDATE! WAH! -tears stream down face- over a year and I still have no idea what happened next. -sob- -calm down now annoyed- I've heard of pausing for suspence but this is just too much UPDATE PLEASE I BEG YOU! ok now that that's out of my system I have a question for you (if yes you probably wont answer) Are you dead?
CRuck 2007-11-10 ch 22,	abuseWow, I just have to say congratulations on a great story. It isn't just great, it's rare, I've read alot of good NaruSaku stories, but not too many of them take you on this ride. Your depiction of Sakura's internal struggle was masterful, and very believable. And your depiction of Tsunade in your latest chapter was refreshing, it's like she was the audience's avatar to voice our irritation at Sakura's stubborness. All in all good job
InARealPickle 2007-10-16 ch 9,	abuseOh wow, I've never hated Hinata before. It's not like she's doing it on purpose. AND I have NEVER wanted Sakura to be with Naruto before and now I desperately want them to work out. You are indeed skilled. :)
Vankor 2007-09-29 ch 22,	abuseawesome story, but, why'd you stop it? you said there was one more chapter and an epilogue left, that was june 06, over a year ago. it's really good and so close to done, i really hope you didn't abandon it, i wanna know how it ends, fully ends.

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