|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| bookworm2009 2008-04-06 ch 4, | abusei like it...do you know when chapter 5 is coming? |
| saphiretwin369 2007-08-02 ch 4, | abuseIntersting story so far. I'm curious and hope Frank comes in soon. I now have yet another story on my story alert. I have a lot already. lol. update soon! |
| kungfukitty2006 2006-09-10 ch 3, | abuseIt's not too bad. You just have to work on your grammar a litte. It helps to have someone else proof-read it, because I don't know about you, but when I proof-read my own stuff I see what I know is supposed to be there, and not what I actually wrote. One thing you should work on is conversations. Whenever someone else talks, you have to put it in a different paragraph. Otherwise, it's like one person is saying everything. And you do not want to have two people's lines next to each other, like when Nancy and Carson are talking to each other. It's bad paragraph structure. I do like the story, though. Can't wait to hear more! |
| Arica, Princess of Rivendel... 2006-08-18 ch 3, | abuseUPDATE! |
| xxfireboltxx 2006-07-07 ch 3, | abusegood job on your first fic, i like it, you should continue. |
| Sexy Bookworm 2006-06-28 ch 3, | abusePretty good,and I LOVE the song!And the band.But good writing! |
| Find the Red Queen 2006-04-19 ch 3, | abuseNot bad for your first fanfic. Keep on writing! ~Miranda |
| Dragonflame55 2006-02-16 ch 3, | abuseIt's a great story and Ur doing a pretty good job of writing it. Although, it's a little stateyish, not a word but, Ur stating everingthing they do, so it get's a little boring. Instead you can try describing it or what's going on. Or give a reason in the sentence about why they did whatever they did before U say what they did. Man I'm bad at this...um... well I hope U got what I was trying to say. Well, it's a great story, please update soon! |
| Mouse In The Corner 2006-02-11 ch 3, | abuseGet Ned Kidnapped |
| Lady Emily 2006-02-11 ch 3, | abuseDon't be so ** yourself. The formatting was a little hard to read, but I've definitely seen worse. And your summary still sounds intriguing. Update again as soon as you can! |
| nancy nickerson 2005-12-29 ch 2, | abuseive said it b4 n i'll say it again. excellent. i LOVE it. geez, putting the 1st chapter of ur 1st fic suxx, doesn't it? wen i put mine up, im like oh crap, every1's gonna hate it. but then ppl liked it, n i waz like, totally surprised. but believe me, i love ur story! but it gets easier...wen i 1st put mine out, i got a TON of flames from ppl telling me that im a stuck up snob, etc, but after a while, n i got mad n told them so in my A/N, which made more ppl get mad @ me, but eventually the ppl who dnt like it stopped reading or reviewing or whatever, n it gets a lot easier( i deleted the reviews w/ the huge flames). word of advice, dont say u wont update if u dnt get a certain amount of reviews, some people will hate u 4 it...i no. lol...but who is fall out boy? never heard of them b4. anyhoo, update soon. oh, u can switch the chapters so that ur disclaimer n all is chapter 1, n chapter 1 is chapter 2. just go 2 edit story, or whatever its called. XOXO Lillie |
| happyhorseback 2005-12-29 ch 1, | abuseI really like this story and want to know more about Bess and George getting kidnapped. |
| Swissishy-Liza 2005-12-29 ch 1, | abusei thought it sucked. oh what the heck i'll keep doing the story. |
| Ragna ICEland 2005-12-29 ch 2, | abuseUm... it does suck, actually...but you're excused, first fic and all but still. Sorry if I'm harsh but it's my opinion. And if you want something helpful: Practise... And maybe the first ch. just didn't caught me, I don't know... |