Script formatted stories are not allowed on this website.

Theres not that many explaintions but it's still good! PLEASE UPDATED SOON! I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT CHAP!

Um... do not feel offended, but you could use some pointers: Try to be more descriptive about what the characters are doing and thinking. For example:

Kerri:ok. (sleeps)

In this case, we have no clue if Kerri went to sleep to her room, or if she fell asleep right where she was.

Anyway, good luck, and keep on writing so you can gain experience. Also, please check my Chicken Little story "A New Friendship" in this same category.

Nice try. Keep it up, and try to make longer chapters.

update when you can! i like this story

Very cute! Keep writing.

neat story! but you do need to work on your spelling. its Jealousy not jelusy.