This story is so far from Tomorrow People that it's not really Tomorrow People any more. I see from the continuing story that it's to become a crossover. But it's your story and you can write what you like. :)

It's hard to critique as it sets up a lot of new ideas and then ends, it's more like a first chapter of a story and I saw that there's a sequel. Bottom line for me is that it's too far from TP canon to be comfortable. There's a lot of characters introduced initially, I was not sure who I needed to keep track of at first. It trips over the bombers and then doesn't resolve why. The next story goes off on another tangent and you never completed it so the reader is still lost as to why they are included.

At the end I just felt abandoned, needing some resolution or tension and not getting either.

I'm not so much into the New Series TP, but this was pretty good. It puts a different spin on the inability to kill, and while it goes against what Roger Price had in mind for the series, it was certainly an interesting take on another way the passive nature of the new series TP could have come into the picture. Off to read your second story next!