Well done, but you should have scrolled down some space before you revealed who it was. I mean, when I read "The hearts of her people yet unraveled," I had an idea who it was - but you shouldn't have given it away so quickly! Or maybe you should have made the reveal Chapter 2.

You have a knack for really good metaphorical poems that actually make sense. This is definitely very good.

Great Story!! :) I'm not to firmiliur with ds99 (I've seen like 3 episodes) , but I liked it anyway as a peom!

I really like the poem.