Good. Interesting and nice descriptions.

What a wonderful story!! :) It's not too often that you see Visas/Exile stories nowadays. Great job!

My only critique would be that at the part where Varlo was describing what he "saw" in her eyes... it seemed a bit jumbled. And yes, the ending was flat. I don't think there was enough of a CLOSING reaction... if that makes any sense. I didn't feel that there wasn't a jab of action or emotion that left the ending very powerful.

But this was an awesome story nonetheless. I hope you continue to write more! :)

- SJ

I just realized something: This is on the final voyage to Dantooine , right? In that case, within the context of your story, The whole bit where they see each other through the force is Reconciliation!
*Jumps for joy*
Still, *falls back down to Earth* this a fairly good story. Please continue writing with this pairing. It makes no sense to me why neither of those most dear to the Exile snuck aboard when he left to find Revan, especially when both of them were experts at stealth(Visas and the Handmaiden). I trust you can fix this? *wink*

Great story! Thanks so much for writing this! God bless!

Well, I'm not much for angst, but good job either way.

Was just trawling around and I found this. Can't say I've seen too many Exile/Visas fics out there, but this one was pretty good.

Still had to shudder at what Varlo saw in those 'eyes.' All I can remember is seeing that short comic in the 'Tales' series by Dark Horse and we see what Visas looks like without the cloak.

Good Job!

I like this. A great idea, and I really liked the description of Visas's eyes. Nice.

That was deep. I like how you didn't make her eyes normal and that it scares the crap out of Varlo. Sometimes we all need a love story were it doesn't work out. Good job!

Good story. The ending was flat, but the rest was fine.

There's some very nice description here and you've taken on a bold subject (Visas in general, and what's under her hood in specific), one that has been running around in my head the past little while since I wrote "Dark Gift."

I agree that it falls flat at the end, and here's why it did for me. Simply, there's nothing in what she shows him that should shock him. He's the "wound" -- been there at Malachor, done that.

The jewels in her eyes... maybe he could react to that... but I'm not sure that would be an entirely convincing reason for him to react so extremely.

Brainstorming (feel free to ignore):
1. He finds out that there is nothing terrible there after all, and that's the biggest shock of all bc he's so prepared himself for the worst...
2. The "ashes" in her eyes draws out the horrors within him, each feeding off the other until it's overwhelming...

So, a really nice piece that needs some work at the end.

BaM

VERY GOOD WRITE MORE

That was... nice.

Visas was always my romantic interest... when i played as a male, so knowing your version of whats under the hood was nice... the eyes 'looked' kinda cool/freaky and probably would make anyone react the same way.

Nice fic/one shot. :)

This was really an excellent piece of writing. My only gripe is that you seem to 'put yourself' down an awful lot with your authors notes. It can become very off putting to the reader, if the author hasn't much faith in what they are writing. Besides, you are a great writer, 99 percent of what you have written, I think is very fairly done.You have a good, strong grasp on almost all the characters individual personalities. Please keep this high standard up, without writing about your failings. Again, you are a very talented writer, and I always look out for your fics.

I thought this was wonderful. I think the description of what was under Visas' hood was inspired originality. As with the other, the end started to get away from you but once you take the time to tighten things up, you're going to have some really terrific pieces. I would, if I were you, stop writing things in the description like, "Because I can, dammit." It is VERY off-putting and I almost didn't read this because of it and that would have been a shame.

OMG OMG OMG! That was WOW I have no words, none at all. I loved it and hated it at the same time. The love you captured and the pain you forged between them. WOW I hope they stay together. Its brilliant and beautiful in a tradgic way. I honestly think this is one of your absolute best Cortessa.