Dear Moon,
Many thanks for writing this wonderful story, even though I'm discovering it so late. I was re-reading PB which I read when it was new, and have always loved Bagoas, when I discovered fan stories about my favorite literary personage. I wanted so much for him to be re-united with his beloved teacher Oromedon. One other reader also so his early love as his teacher who had begun using a different name after he left Darius' employ. Eunuch love is much more tender than any other in this story. As much as I laughed at Alex's possessiveness, and how he tried to escape Roxane, we know he was quite generous with his friends. He even arranged Heph's wedding, so he wouldn't have been really angry if H & B took others. I do believe Bagoas loved Alexander, but his first and never forgotten love was Oromedon. I was so happy to see them reunited, if only for a short while.

Bagoas ... man, he's my favourite, and my second is Hephaestion, ... and I think Ara is my third now. I really love this, because Bagoas is just so mysterious ... he's like that under-developed character people manipulate into a Mary Sue or something - which is definately not the case here!

Absolutely amazing. I don't know how else to describe it.

I love your fanfics! They're so sweet and deep at the same time. I like Alexander's possessiveness of Hephaestion. ) Great job.

ZOMG, ALEXANDER IS SUCH A JEALOUS WENCH! :D It's so HILARIOUS, especially when he went all out angry on Bagoas. I pity bagoas though. It's so hard to be with one person when you actually love someone else. I love your writing style! It just tops!

Hello. :D

Firstly, this must be my favourite out of your Alexander fics, if A Choice of Words doesn't count. I love how Alexander is so jealous of Hephaestion, and how it makes him treat Bagoas (who I am not much of a fan of...) in a less friendly manner than usual. I find your Alexander exceptionally in-character - on the presumption that we can imagine knowing what kind of a personality he was. However, with Bagoas you had also done well, for although I don't exactly have a liking for him, I found the parts that included him surprisingly interesting - even his affair with Ara. So, an excellent fic, as always - as a matter of fact, every time when I think I myself would have even passably succeeded in writing an Alexander fanfic that could actually be at least a fairly good one (on low standards!) I somehow err to read a fic of yours and there we go, I don't know what I was thinking. x)

So, very well written, indeed. Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to some new Alexander fics from you. :)

- nights.

I am reading Mary Renault's "The Persian Boy". I came looking for Alexander fic out of curiosity. What an astonishing story! I feel like I have stumbled into a paralell story to the one I am reading. The atmosphere in your story is just wonderful and Bagoas's meeting with Ara was just perfect. I always felt so sorry for him with no one to really love; what a pity they could not stay together. And Hephaestion being so understanding and loving. I hope Alexander knows how truly lucky he is. Congratulations, you are a wonderful writer and we readers are privileged that you share your work with us. I have every intention of reading your other stories.

I enjoyed this story too..

I think that the characterization of this fic is one of the best I've seen.

Bagoas's apparent intellect and good instincts continually surprises me.

Alexander's headache over Roxana is an amusing metaphor about how men are still confused about women.

Wonderful job!

I find Bagoas' thoughts of Olympias hilarious! I think she _would_ sweep in like a storm, too, and I really don't blame Alexander for not ever bringing her to Babylon. (Historically did she want to go there? If only to be near Alexander and more able to influence him?)

Heh, I wonder who made the seating arrangements at the party. How perceptive of Bagoas, to recognize immediately that the Macedonians thought the dancer was a woman! And eunuchs have their pride, too - he stayed so as not to appear jealous. In this he's not so very different from the other men, especially the Macedonians (as demonstrated by Hephaestion later, staying through the drinking fest)! They're all human, after all. I have to say I feel more sympathetic to Bagoas than ever here, with a love that's returned but impossible to realize. You've described his mindset so precisely; I think it's true he would "love life, any life" and that after so long as eunuchs, he and Ara both understand that they can't elope or anything, and accept their seperate fates quietly. Still, they manage to bridge the gap by using the word "love" to each other sincerely, without any of the trappings eunuchs can add to such a word. I also like that he knows just what to say to Hephaestion, but instinctively, without calculation. Although he doesn't reveal anything it's a pretty honest answer on his part, to reveal that he, a eunuch, feels such a love also. And his kiss for Hephaestion seems very childlike, in a good way!

Hephaestion's smile . . . (let me go on before I melt into goo) I love that part of its attraction (to understate it!) is its sincerity. So often he must have had other smiles, for enemies, for diplomatic matters. I love that entire paragraph on the kiss! Although Bagoas sees it as a political message, and Hephaestion certainly seemed to be playing a role leading up to it, as you described it the smile was sincere and I can't help but think Alexander's words and the kiss were sincere too, so I also think it was a very intimate moment! (I'm still struggling a little with the knowledge that when it comes to them and your fics, especially them _in_ your fics, I'm a total sap; someday I'll get over it, hee!)

Ooh, I think this is the first time I've seen Alexander quite so scary in your fics! Aiyiyi, I know he killed Cleitus in a drunken rage, not to mention x number of enemies in battle, but, well, Bagoas isn't a fighter. There was a hint of crazy-possessive Alexander in "The Substitute" but after all, in that one he didn't throw anyone around! I like crazy-possessive-Alexander very much! (Though I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him, ever. Bagoas is very brave if he didn't even flinch at Alexander's touch when Alexander started apologizing for his temper!) And great juxtaposition, to have that darker side of him explode and then to show that he's avoiding Roxane! He's afraid of _Roxane_ wanting to talk? She must literally not stop, then! The reappearance of that mask which even Hephaestion can't penetrate is great, too!

Everything about Hephaestion's mindset at this time makes so much sense as you write it, from Craterus and Cleitus wanting Hephaestion to leave so they could "get drunk in peace" (hahaha!) to Hephaestion's parents talking about grandchildren, and especially how Alexander getting married would actually be a relief for him! Then, Alexander telling Hephaestion he shouldn't have hit Bagoas, and Hephaestion not contradicting that, while thinking about "which little creep had gone telling tales" (More Gestapo Hephaestion, yay! I should stop giving them these epithets . . .) The lies involved in maintaining their love are unfortunate, but Hephaestion accepts that they're for the better, and this is very realistic. To see Alexander and Hephaestion independently arrive at the same conclusion, the wish for earlier, simpler days, was a very nice touch. And the phrase "divested of a burden he had hardly known he was carrying" was - o-o-o-oh, it was just perfect! He feels a little tension over the marriage, yes - but certainly not anything jealously possessive (at least on Hephaestion's part, hee!) and not part of his consciousness during the festivities. I can't quite explain everything this line suggests to me, but it's . . . just perfect!

Hello moon71,

Many thanks for sharing this well written and exciting view of Alexander's wedding complications. You handle all the POWs with excellence and give us a panorama of all the complicated feelings involved.

I especially liked the introduction of Ara / Oromedon from the Persian Boy. A tragic reunion, since Bagoas knows they have no future together and their love / friendship must be kept a strict secret. Hephaestion finding out and Bagoas bravely standing up to his *rival*, leading to severe complications and Alexander's both friends having to use *white lies* to cover up the truth rings true to the complications of the court.

The final chapter with Hephaestion giving comfort to Alexander after his five days with his *insatiable* young bride is both humorous and quite endearing.

All the best wishes,

/NorthernLight

Another beautifully-written piece. I believe your portrayal of Bagoas' character is nearer the truth than anything I've ever read. Living in circumstances where every word or deed had to be carefully guarded; where one's world might collapse at any given moment, his major concern had to be survival. I would never have thought any writer could make me feel empathy for Bagoas, but you have done it. The line "they didn't speak of the future because they could not have one" is heartbreaking.

Also think you brought out the irony that Hephaestion and Bagoas are in a bit of the same situation: Hephaestion constantly having to think about protecting Alexander (sometimes from himself) as well as guarding against his own enemies,etc.

Liked your lightening the mood a little by adding a touch of satire describing a frustrated Alexander's bewilderment about his "insatiable" bride. Aubrey Menen would be proud. This story, as are your others, is a joy to read.

Thank you for sharing them.

Fredericka

Just like everytime: so beautiful! I like it very mich because you can really breath the life and culture of their time. I love your Alexander and mostly your Hephaestion, too many author make him "Alexander's mistress", you make him his general, friend and lover. I would like to read more fics like yours...I think their roles could change in bed, I see Hephaestion as Alexander's lover too, since we can't know what they really did under the furs ;)

Very very beautiful!

I love this! ROTFL! Where to begin? The LOVELY pic at Alexander’s wedding of him seated with his veiled bride, father-in-law, eunuch and lover all at hand! Good times…..! Crateros – and everyone else - unknowingly so very turned on by Ara, who loves only Bagoas! Alexander exhausted and hiding from Roxana’s demands after three whole days of wedded bliss! So irrationally and jealously possessive of Hephaistion, who has quietly started thinking of marriage himself! Hephaistion playing the role of Roxana by unanimous vote at the party! Hephaistion deviously preserving lies on top of lies…. in order to keep the peace and keep Alexander happy.

While I was happy for Bagoas that he found his true love safe and relatively happy after so long, but sniff.. what a sad story! Their sad past, and now to continue to live apart, with only Hephaistion knowing his secret. I really feel for Bagoas here. The scene where he stands up to Hephaistion is wonderful! I loved this line:

"it had been worth it, to be, just for a moment, only Bagoas, not Bagoas the eunuch, Bagoas the servant, Bagoas the Persian or just King Alexander’s boy."

A great story – funny and poignant! Looking forward to more!

Very well written. I like the fact that Hephaestion even helped cover up Bagoas' lie. It was definately interesting to see, especially since Hephaestion could have sold him out, and perhaps gotten rid of him forever. Yet the best part is when Alexander has come back and is in Hephaestion's room. He is unable to stay away, even though now it would be wise. Hephaestion definately makes Roxana jealous. I like the bit about him challenging Roxana and Bagaos to loving Alexander, and its is obvious who will win. Hephaestion...without a comparisson.

Baliansword

Interesting and humourous fic. I like your take on Heph reaction to Alexander's marriage as I never thought that he would care or be tearful about it.

Bagoas is cunning, and it was good of Heph to keep his secret.