Jack seems a little weak in this but he's basically in character. Hm...that description of auras seems familiar...did you get the idea from the Mel Beeby stories? ^-~ Sh, I won't tell, it's a good idea to use. I maybe wouldn't have had her use the Doc and Rose's names because it makes it seem like she knows them. Other than that you've got a very interesting character set up there. Glactic Commander...get her asserting her authority. And I want to see more innuendo/flirting from Jack!

~~Eeveekitty85~~
part of betterwiththree

Oh, nice start. A mystery character with a very interesting job...I like it already!

Heey its good so far, keep it up :P My interest is peaked

oh thats cruel, next chapter?!
Jess :-)

Should have waited until you actually had a story to post.

Uh...rather than just lengthen the summary, maybe it would have been an idea to wait until you'd finished the first chapter? Then you could post this with it and not irritate me with what is basically a huge summary. And you could have built all these details into the actual story so we don't find out all of it at once.

If you're going to unravel the mysteries of the Universe, do you really need to tell us so? Why not just put it in the story and wait for the reader to work it out for themselves?

An interesting idea, but please don't do this again.

Hiya buddy! Glad you finally got started! Looks like a good opener!