Reviews for Itinera - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Itinera

anonymous 2008-08-24 ch 1, anon.	abuseI'm so happy to have found a Petrine-centric fic. Seriously, I am. She was easily my favorite villain in fe9 and I was disappointed by her lack of a back story other than the fact that she is branded. Anyways, this was really good. The flashbacks flowed with the present and the bit with Jill was interesting because it helped to tie it to the storyline of the game. In a sad, slightly disturbing way, this fic was very beautiful, kind of like Petrine's 'beautifully dead opponent'. Another thing that I really liked was how realistic it was. The beginning of the flash-backs showed a seemingly normal young girl with far too little affection and far too much fate, trying to stay alive and later that turned into being a psychopath and then we have the present Petrine that is cold, powerful, a little crazy, but deep down insecure and slightly afraid. Her in-game death quote was showed that she was afraid of death and I'm not sure if you took that into consideration when writing this but either way, it tied in seamlessly.
Olynthus 2006-09-01 ch 1,	abuseFirst off I would like to say that I am truly happy to have found this piece. Petrine is such an interesting character, and I have always wanted an insist into her past, even if in a fanfiction. The only really problem I had, and I truly hate to nitpick, with the story is the flow. At times, the flow is interrupted by different things. Example: "She let herself lay in seclusion in the tent, not daring to risk her dignity. She let herself lay in seclusion in the tent, irrationally insecure." Although the repeat of the clause is intentional, it is a bit distracting. Another thing is your underlining of words that are meant to be empathized. I might be special, however, the underline causes my eyes to wander and read the word a few lines before it is meant to be. Perhaps it would have been better to just unitalise them? Nonetheless, this is definitely one of my favourite Fire Emblem pieces of all-time.
Jargonelle 2006-08-26 ch 1,	abuseAw, I'm glad you won! ^_^ I hope you're proud of this fic. I admit to not thinking twice about Petrine, but you've told a compelling story here. I like the part with Jill best, 'cause I enjoy seeing how the characters react to each other, and Petrine thinking about her father. The repeated snow motif is a nice way to link the sections together. In response to completely other random stuff. :p About Soren: I would much prefer subtle!Soren, but then the character himself is rather blunt at times and writing a subtle Soren and writing subtly about Soren are two very different things. If that makes sense? About FE9: I just find the game... boring I guess, in comparison to FE6 and FE7. The chapters seem rather repetitive, I don't like the skills or the bonus EXP and the new method of obtaining supports means I don't bother getting them for characters outside my main party. On the other hand, my flatmate loved it and he's called me 'Nephenee' ever since. :) Thank you for the recs! And finally: your warnings are awesome. ^_^
Sky-Pirate-Tat 2006-04-27 ch 1,	abuseSo this is the winning fic? It's no wonder you won, you did a wonderful~ job!
Ormiss 2006-03-25 ch 1,	abuseWhile reading about Petrine on Wikipedia, I realized what an interesting character she actually is, and I set out to see if anyone had written something about her here. That's how I found this story. The gist of my criticism is, I like it. You did a fine job of characterizing Petrine in a believable way, and I totally buy her character with this background. The words "sorrowful fist" come to mind to describe her childhood. There seems to be a raw feeling of pity implied in the writing. The alternating past/present format is a bit informal, but serves its purpose. It's a good contrast, without which the story would not have kept my interest from start to end. There are occasional grammatical problems--subtle ones, rather than overt mistakes. There are also some word choices which seemed odd to me, and in concert, these two facts break the flow on occasion. It's a minor thing, but worth mentioning. "She was beautiful in a wild, fierce sort of way, like nature untamed – though it seemed that attempts to tame her had tarnished it." -- Vivid description, especially the last part. In the beginning, I can't decide whether she's walking in the snow as the story starts, or if you're describing the landscape from an omniscient POV. "She let herself lay in seclusion in the tent, not daring to risk her dignity. She let herself lay in seclusion in the tent, irrationally insecure." -- You completely lost me here, and I found the previous few paragraphs confusing as well. Did she actually go to lie down in the tent after receiving the message, or is this a general statement about her life choices? It feels like the author knows something that the reader doesn't. It's nice that her father falters when he's about to kill her. This fact sort of makes full circle of the realistic tragedy. There's room for all kinds of flawed, logical, bitter conclusions about their choices. Similarly, the rich man who saved Petrine made for an interesting train of thought. She dares to hope one last time, but when that trust is broken... No, I didn't think her change of heart was strange; it seemed all too logical to me. It could have been better segued, but it was good. The scene ending where she leaps out of the wagon is poetic, but it seems to me like she's frolicking, and I start to wonder why no one's coming after her. "...plunging it through the soldier, where it burst into embers and burned through him. He fell, his body charred, hollow Daein armor falling to the ground." -- Excellent description. Fwoosh, crackle, snap. Personally, I avoid using the word 'adrenaline' in fantasy fiction, because I feel that it is an anachronism. A subtle, harmless one, but still. On the other hand, I loved that paragraph as a whole. Yes, fan fiction is BS time! The more, the better. Finally, thank you for writing about Petrine. Perhaps you will see me do the same in the near future, though I'll be careful not to plagiarize your creation. This was long. I hope you found it useful as opposed to annoying.
Lethe Laguz 2006-03-04 ch 1,	abuseVery beautifully written. I'm glad someone wrote about Petrine, as very little attention is given to her in the game. She's quite interesting, like how she's completely merciless but does some things that make her realistic, like being afraid of Ashnard and complimenting Ena. You detailed the emotions of the story well in a way that gave me chills reading it. And...I can't think of anything else to say sweatdrop so I'll just say I really enjoyed reading this and that you did a great job with it.
Writer Awakened 2006-02-13 ch 1,	abuseWow, it's always nice to see stories about characters like Petrine- the smaller characters, you know? We really don't get to see too much of her. First, the small errors I noticed: (sorry if I seem too nitpicky ^_^; ) "She repeated it like mantra" - needs "a" XD "Snow crunching under her bare feet, falling onto her hair, washing the blood onto the ground" - this sentence is a bit incomplete; changing the progressive verbs to past tense would allieviate it nicely. Also, a couple of the sentences in the beginning were unsure of their tenses also...but that's a minor gripe. Anyway, what I liked about this story was the juxtaposition of her revelation into her crazed nature (during the flashbacks) and the Petrine we know. Now we see why she's such a "Plague" on society, I guess. XD. There's also some symbolism and meaning to the story underlying. Also, what the father has been implied to have done to her mother (and to her? I wasn't quite sure of that) was quite horrifying. What I didn't like, though, was that some scenes were a bit bereft of detail. Specifically, I would liked to have known a bit more of the landscape in the latter half of the story, other than just the snowy scene. Also, I would have liked to have known what her father looked like (unless I just missed the description). Lastly, I somehow feel that the story was a bit...incomplete, maybe? Specifically, I would have liked to know how Petrine actually became one of the Four Riders, as opposed to leaving off at where she becomes the cruel person she is during the game. Eh, you can't have it all, I guess :P Anyway, good job! This is a suitably gruesome tale, and an accurate take on a really frightening person. The bits about her being Branded were also nice. Kudos!
Amethyst Bubble 2006-02-03 ch 1,	abuseYou know, forcing me to review stuff is only going to spur the fanclub on in some way or another. XP I don't think there's much left to say on this piece that I haven't already said. You write tragedy wonderfully, combining all the little details that wouldn't necessarily be sad on their own and weaving them into something that leaves you staring at the screen going, "...Okay. Whoa." I like. I like muchly. -Ammy
El Hustino 2006-01-23 ch 1,	abuseWell, I'm certainly glad I got myself to read this. This was wonderful and, in a way, insightful to her character. Also, I was unaware that she was a Branded, although I have , ahem, noticed her mark before. It definitely makes her character more interesting, even for a strong female villain, which is interesting normally. I've always loved how some people can take a character and create a unique story (specifically a background) for them. You did a wonderful job here. In fact, this makes me want to replay Path of Radiance even more. All in all, a great fic. Most memorable and creative part of it? Petrine curtsying.
foolintherain 2006-01-14 ch 1,	abuseWhat can I say? I loved this. It flowed very well, it was beautifully written, and I enjoyed reading it. I feel like I should leave you a better review (especially since you've left me so many helpful ones), but there really wasn't anything I didn't like about it. I'm thrilled that you wrote about Petrine like this because I was very disappointed with the lack of attention given to her in the game. I was expecting her to be one of the more important characters you'd meet since she was talked up so much towards the beginning, but she was never developed any further, left the action for a good chunk of the game, and was rather easy to kill when she finally showed up again. I loved FE9, but I was kind of disappointed with the villains in the game as a whole. The closest they came to a memorable villain was the Black Knight, and even he wasn't overly impressive when compared to past Fire Emblem bad guys/girls. So yeah, I really like that you gave Petrine a history. Excellent work.
Lemurian-Girl 2006-01-14 ch 1,	abuseLatin, eh? How do I say this about your fic? bonus, bona, bonum good! Magnus, magna, magnum great! (and large, which though it was a long story, you kept me captivated the whole time) To heck with Latin, this was amazing. So descriptive and it was very chilling. You're right, it's not a tearjerker, but at the same time, it is such a tragedy. You pulled it off excellently, and you certainly get points for originality. Good thing you posted it today too! I'll probably post the results in the forum som time tonight or tomorrow. :) ~Lemurian-Girl~
avi17 2006-01-14 ch 1,	abuseExcellent job. Your writing style has definitely improved greatly over the time I've been reading your stories (and it was amazing to begin with! ^^). But this was very well-thought out. Considering the flashbacks, you'd think it'd be hard to read, but you made it flow very well. And I really like the imaginativeness of the concept. Great work! ^^ ~Avi-chan

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