Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: The Legend of Zoros

chickenbeans
2006-01-18
ch 1,
abuseThats an intriguing first chapter. This is personal opinion but the first part where you said "it was pleasing to the bone" is a bit of contradiction with the later part "he was worried and scared" so your saying he was happy and then suddenly he was scared doesnt really make sense...good chapter!
Return to Top