First of all not to bad. I saw someone had made a comment about the time issue. They couldn't be more wrong. A long, long, time ago it may have been, but that long long time ago might have been during the SG1 era so to speak. So basically the starwars era could have happened during the revolutionary war or this 2nd iraq war. Basically the time issue that people like to bring up is completely retarded.

However another comment made was talking about plot. And it seems this story is suffering the Final Fantasy Spirits Within. I call it that because if you watch that movie, its like they took the 2nd half the script and made it into a movie. Basically some juicy pieces of the plot are odd because you are starting it in the middle.

Otherwise seems like a rather interesting story. I shall continue to read.

Please please please give more of a backstory instead of randomly combining the worlds of Stargate SG-1 and Star Wars and starting from the mixture. It leaves us in the middle of the forest with no map and no compass to navigate. The way you began the story immediately assumed we knew who Sam, Jack, Luke, and all the other characters (it's Corran HORN, not Corran Corn) were.

Since you're combining two different universes, there needs to be a reason why the combination occurs. However, this must be done in a subtle but clear manner. If you want to look at a good SW/SG1 crossover, look at Darth Marrs' two stories "Gods of Dark and Light" and "Heaven Falls: A Jedi On Earth". This adequately establishes the relationship between both the SW and SG1 universes.

um? How can Stargate Sg-1 ever crossover with this era of Star Wars? For one "A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" I can see them traveling to another galaxy but did they travel thru time or somthing?

also you should expand your story inorder to tell how Sam was captured as a slave, how she was rescued and how she was discovered to have the ablity to become a Jedi.

You leave alot to be answered. If you repair that mabey more people would read it.

I like the idea of this story. however, I really feel like I'm reading chapter outlines with 'key dialogue' phrase encapsuled...for instance you state 'sam' had been taken away as slave and she was saved and trained as Jedi... one paragraphs..er, that in it self could be a whole story...

second Paragraph, "Even though Sam had shown promise that she could be trained to be a full Jedi Knight...Well How?

and thrid paragraph...When the SG1 team finally came to her..."well How did they? A lot of good ideas here but not excution of them again I say...reads like a plot outline...

to be honest I could not get passed the first page because of these flaws...I suggest re doing this story and expanding it into several stories each dealing with key aspects of the first third paragraphs before you delve into your epic...

cool story

It;s to bax that nobody
put attention to your fic

caroline