As always, a thought-provoking plot with some fine writing, especially the insights into Holly's feelings. Just one problem: you state the bullet was DNA coded to Artemis (a nice technical detail). If this is the case, surely it wouldn't work on Holly if she tried to shoot herself? Sorry to carp but it just hit me as I read this. Hope you write more fics soon; this site needs all the quality writing it can get.

Oh my god! That was amazing. I started thinking, would holly do it, or would so not! it made me cry.

I loved the ending! Butler finding Holly! Just brilliant!

Touching...good job!

wow...that was good...very good. You wrote this one really well. I like the plot...very believable. PLEASE update!! thanks!

~Welovechocolate~

Interesting. I could really see what Holly was feeling. The ending though...It was kind of...I don't know. Choppy? No...maybe more of abrupt.

Very nice piece. Good emotional content, good tension, and a believable and ultimately satisfying ending.

Not bad; my biggy complaint is in the center. Most of the guts in there are unnecessary and can be taken out, since they drag terribly.

Your description of Artemis bugs me, but I have this idealized image in my head (don't get me started.) I can't see him with a beard at *all*, even as a fifty-year-old. And didn't he have black hair?

I like how you ended - it was very graceful. I can't think of a better way to handle it. I also liked how she was driven to the point of shooting *herself*, which is really nice - though I wish you had let the moment sit a bit more.

Let's see... more metaphor and less simile might be better. You used one in particular: "...like an almighty warrior coaxed into dishonour by scheming bureaucrats..." It's too close to reality to be a good simile.

Er - that's all I can really think of. Hope that's enough.

SAD! GOod thing she didn't shoot him. Can't stand the image of ARtemis dying.. I kinda imagined afterwards that Trouble decided to finish off ARtemis and Holly taking his bullet. Sad but great job! ^^

oh! I like it! Pleae keep going!

Wonderfully done! Good plot, nice internal conflict, I'll definitly read more of your stuff.

*crys*

You have a really good writing style and this is a great piece of writing! At the beginning I wasn't exactly sure if I liked it - I didn't quite know what was going on possibly cos I didn't read the summary - but I really like the ending. I don't know if it's a bit OOC for Artemis to do all that to the fairies and maybe they would have wiped his mind instead of assassinating him? But I really love the way this story ended so all that probably doesn't really matter. :)