Absolutely amazing! Loved it and I couldn't stop myself from laughing when they got to yelling and letting thei pride in the way. Very realistic and loved it.

I find it heartbreaking everytime I hear those words because while Alexander was completely justified and had every right to reprimand both of them, it did seem to cross a line. I can't help but wonder if this was one of those times that Alexander cursed his temper and once out of sight wanted to bang his head against a wall. This was a really wonderful portrayal of the incident, the emotions that Alexander had to work through from his need to be in control as their commander and then wanting to give up all pride and just go to Hephaestion as his friend/lover was so well done-such an enjoying read :)

Oh, did Alexander really think a supper together was the way to smooth over the tension? Of course it would be slow torture! Poor him, he really tries. Thank you for representing his side of it so sympathetically. (After all, there was another explosion of temper in which he *killed* somebody ...) We "normal people" might think that a king gets his way naturally, but as you illustrate in the story there's no accounting for human emotion.

Although you use Alexander's perspective, fully presenting his side of it, yet you also present the complications for Hephaestion. For example, I do notice that Alexander thinks if he (the king) isn't upset with how other people view their relationship, then Hephaestion "certainly had no right to be!" when actually the names flung around are generally directed at Hephaestion. I wonder if anyone called Alexander any names, and what would happen if he ever heard of it. Of course, no one would dare call Alexander anything near a "bed-boy," much less the oldest one in the army!

I wish I could give you more concrete commentary on the conversation between Alexander and Hephaestion in which Alexander tries repeatedly to smooth things over - but when Hephaestion's ready to explain, Alexander's already in a towering temper again. But I can only say, it seems just what they might have said to each other - and not only the words, but the thoughts and actions and facial expressions. Same with the little history you give of how they tried to end the physical side of their relationship after Alexander became king, their individual ... discoveries after that (which really made me beam with pride for them, however dismayed they might have been - maybe a strange reaction on my part, but there it is), and of course, the tribute at Troy. And with the line that ended that scene with Bagoas. Perfect, just perfect, all of it!

But what really got me was the ending. Alexander apologizes - turning his own words back on himself - "It would seem that without you I am nothing ... nothing that matters, anyway." In other fics I've seen Alexander say something similar (not to mention in the movie) and it just doesn't seem *right*, to me, that Hephaestion would accept such a statement, no matter how angry he was - I'd imagine that such a line would competely smash through whatever barriers of resentment and anger he could put up, to think that he could cause Alexander to "lower" himself that way. And you capture it so perfectly here, the desperation and the rush of both forgiveness and apology. With others Alexander's fancy dinners and even his temper might have great effect, but after all, with Hephaestion, a little "give" on Alexander's part is so much more effective. Much more so than forcing people who had drawn swords on one another to sit through a supper together!

Bravo!

Excellent story! I must admit that it was only a while ago that I heard of this phrace: "Without me you are nothing". So I am curious to find out what happened... And so I stubled over your story ;)

No true explanation of the situation itself, but a great fic!

“Hephaestion, come here, and for Zeus’ sake look at me when I talk to you!” That line was so thrilling! It is so... I don't know, kingly, yeat so lika the Alexander I have used to see.

a rather abrupt ending, but good none the less ! I demand a sequel !

Aw . . . This is so historically accurate it made me swoon. *Heavy sigh of happiness.* Ok, now my Alexander story feels inferior . . . must go tweak it . . . Wow. This made me really happy. I love Hephaestion.

This is a very good take on Alexander's point of view. You keep all of his arrogance as a king and his fearsome temper, but you also emphasize his need to be loved and reassured. I also like that Hephaestion is strong willed - he is full of love for Alexander, but he still holds his own honor in high regard. Also, Bagoas has a nice role in this fic. The comment about Hepaestion being unworried about Alexander's superficial relationships was especially interesting and well-worded.

You mananged to show us a true love that fight with a cruel world and with difficult years and moments. Though I have my doubts about this historical episode (or at least about Alexander's words), your story is interesting and wonderfully written as always. So sweet and strong, your Hephaestion! You know I love him!

The first thing that strikes me about this story is how well you illustrate the side of Alexander’s character that always seems to surface whenever he doesn’t get his way. He becomes a self-centered, spoiled brat and has a tantrum. Sometimes people die! Hephaestion shares the blame. He’s been like an over-indulgent parent who’s defended, justified, at times assisted, in some very nasty matters...judicial murder, political assassination, and drunken, murderous rage resulting in the death of a loyal friend. Now he’s on the receiving end. Both men are shocked…Hephaestion at the heartbreaking betrayal…Alexander that his friend won’t simply swallow his pride and dismiss the incident.

Alexander tries to shift the blame to Hephaestion, telling him he should be willing to “try harder, endure more”, oblivious that he’s adding insult to injury. When that fails to elicit the desired response, he becomes flirtatious, certain that a night in bed with HIM will fix everything, What colossal conceit ! When Hephaestion stubbornly refuses, he runs the gamut of emotional blackmail. No doubt it usually worked. This time it doesn’t.
Finally Alexander issues the ultimatum he’s positive will result in Hephaestion’s surrender. He will deny him his bed! In an hilarious “Menen moment” you transform him from a coy, petulant flirt into a parody of the stereotypical wife who angrily banishes her husband to the sofa!
But Hephaestion doesn’t capitulate, he’s finally had enough. Physically and emotionally, he’s gone…really gone, and Alexander, although he continues to look for reasons to blame Hephaestion, is alone…really alone.

He tries in vain to use Bagoas to make him forget Hephaestion, threatens Crateros with execution, and, unable to concentrate on affairs of state, spends his days and nights resenting Hephaestion's hold on him…all the while obsessing over ways to heal the breach between them without sacrificing his kingly dignity.

I find it credible that Crateros grudgingly admits how important Hephaestion is to the King and ceases his bullying. Do you think there was more to his resentment than simply believing Hephaestion rose in the ranks because he was Alexander’s lover? Crateros was a more experienced general, but Hephaestion was young, handsome, intelligent, cultured, and perhaps worst of all, liked and admired by Alexander’s Persian subjects. Maybe, like some modern “jocks”, Crateros sneered at intellectually gifted men while secretly envying them. Whatever, after this incident, I think nothing more was recorded concerning discord between the two men? they seem to have shared command of the army peacefully. In fact, wasn’t Hephaestion promoted shortly thereafter?

Having Alexander go to Hephaestion at last, in full view of the night guards is a clever way of telling the army that he's abandoning the battlefield; he is suing for peace. As he cannot himself announce this publicly, he lets the “breakfast gossip” do it for him. His officers have glimpsed what he might become without his “Philalexandros” and are alarmed. They’ll surely be relieved when the King returns to normalcy and, in future, treat Hephaestion with respect. No doubt now he’ll simply ignore remarks from jealous colleagues and for his part Alexander will realize there’s a limit to Hephaestion’s tolerance. Together, they have experienced a rite of passage. In future they will act as mature men.

I love the way this story ends. Alexander has won back his Patroclus …and in their passionate embrace, they affirm a momentarily forgotten, irrevocable truth:
Troy, indeed, was the answer.

As another talented writer, Trust No One, observed, I am privileged to have this fine story dedicated to me.
My sincere thanks.
Fredericka

P.S. I hope I remembered correctly that you said you liked long reviews...or didn't mind them?? This must be a record. Just couldn't stop.
F

... and you thought my fic was good? Dear lord, I believe you are amazing. That's just... wow. I love the ending, especially!! By the way, I finally got another chapter up... I was a little lazy with the ending though if you couldn't tell... I wrote it at 5 in the morning.

I have just started reading the Alexander stories on FanFiction Net and I think this is excellent. I particularly like the way you draw the characters and the depth and understanding of Alexander and Hephaistion's relationship which you display. I liked the references to their past lives together - as boys, when Alexander became king etc. I do think their relationship is absolutely fascinating. It would be interesting to read a story about their visit to Troy.
Thank you for this - I will read more of your stories.

Alex did a lot of damage with those words, and I do agree with you: I think he must have observed the growing animosity between those two and surely he must have asked Hephaistion more than once in private to knock it off. Unfortunately, this situation is something one sees in corporate environments every day :P Your friend Fredericka is lucky to have all these nice stories dedicated to her.

You make me cry! *sobs* Always, with every fic using those words happens...
Thanks for sharing! Love this pairing!

thank you for this. It is incredible moving account of two men who were quite stubborn within themselves. That you gave a realistic portrayal of the pride that kept them apart was great to read. I enjoyed this take on the famous words a great deal.

One can never have too many stories on this subject! I also join you in the minority, Moon, becuase I too feel that Craterus and Hephaistion were much more at fault here than Alexander. They were the highest ranking men next to Alexander and engaged in a public brawl with swords - no matter the provocation, they should have kept it private. They deserved the reprimands - they must have been both totally shamed by Alexander and never faught again. Also, it's hard to know WHAT exactly Alexander said, since Plutarch writes two different versions.

In this story, Alexander is somewhat naive in the beginning, thinking that a night together would solve all the problems. He later realizes that he had to address the words spoken in anger before they could both move on.