sweet

1. About three sentences.

2. I didn't notice any awkward paragraphs.

3. This title is okay.

4. Sequal? Pweeze?

A clever enough experiment to warrant a response.

In answer to your qs: 1) I'd say you've intentionally made it unclear what the 'game' is: or rather, very consciously left the reader to decide. We at first think it's scissors, paper, rock, echoing a familiar scene from the show as fanfic often does; however, we may also assume it's something else, but being explicit isn't really necessary or relevant. If you are familiar with slashfic as a genre, and with John/Dargo slashfic as a whole, this scenario presents itself immediately as sexual - a slashfic declares its status as slash from the outset; in the context of a site like this, the story has not declared itself as 'slash', leaving the reader potentially anticipating a wholly different story, and thus potentially interpreting the opening section in a very 'straight' way. It could be about masturbation, or you could flutter your eyelashes and claim that it was about no such thing - presumably allowing you the author to collate your data and draw your conclusions about fic-readers.

2)I'm not sure what you mean, because I didn't encounter a confusing paragraph. I assume you mean the one that starts 'D'Argo's nostrils flared', because that's where the definite reversal happens, and because that's where the only noticeable 'paragraph' occurs, leading me to assume you are drawing my attention to it. The paragraph is the opposite of confusing; it clarifies what has gone before by making it sexual (if you read the former scene as straight) or actively directing it sexually (if you read the former scene as involving sexual acts).

3) The title might be improved: perhaps 'My College Project about Fanfiction', or 'The HeteroSexual Conspiracy: White Middle Class America' would work equally well.

Actually in part I respect this piece as an experiment, but I object to it because it is being surreptitious in its aims; I particularly object to the use of questions at the bottom of the page which influence the reader, and direct their reading to certain areas of the text and certain questions - much as no doubt the publication of this review might if you let it stand.

I will not engage in the question of whether this should be 'marked' to the reader as a piece of 'slash' fiction, when it contains no sexual references, no explicit sexual activity, etc. I was, however, a bit disappointed by the fact that D'Argo does basically ask John for sex, since I assumed this was an exercise in a non-slashy/slashy fic being placed on a site which normally hosts gen fic; it would have been nice if you had been able to make it less explicit and still seen if there were anti-slash complaints. As it is, it functions as an interesting, but ultimately badly-planned approach to analysing fanfiction. Perhaps next time make it less obvious.

Pretty entertaining. John's dialogue was perfect. Thanks.

Well, that was, er... surreal...