   EmEx
2006-02-06 . chapter 3Wow... what can I say? This is one of the best fics I've ever had the pleasure to read.
I loved how it started, you gave us the bases of the story, told us about the motivations of the villain and the path Lois and Clark had taken. I was more than thrilled to learn they had married!
Then it was shattered all too soon, problems made sure their happiness wouldn't last and the way you described it really made me feel sad! To find out that the one set to destroy their happiness was no one else but The General! The whole thing has tints of a Greek tragedy, doesn't it? The confrontation between Lois and her father was painful and well described and the fact that Lois was willing to risk it all, even her own happiness for Clark was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.
(I just loved the phrase "Make it. Go. Away.")
How Martha stood in front of Sam Lane was awesome as well, how everyone kept telling him how selfish he was but the man was so blinded by his own conceptions that he really thought he was doing the right thing, that tore me in two directions, first I hated him how dared he do that to Lois and Clark? But in the end, he just thought he was protecting his daughter! BTW I loved (I will love a lot in this review) that Martha said Lois was her daughter as well.
(Oh Cancun for spring break! I love Cancun, it's one of the most beautiful places on earth!)
Then we find out what happened to Lois... amnesia.. I wondered if the same treatment utilized in "Blank" had been applied to her. It was terrible to learn she forgot everything about the man she sacrificed it all... it is such an irony.
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Later we see Lois trying to cope with her "amnesia". I mean it I felt horrible when she started describing her loneliness and how she had tried to contact Chloe with no avail. I was like "No! Chloe cares about you! She loves you!" :p
And I just loved how you intertwined realities from different Superman stories, the usage of Teri Hatcher's name, the little details here and there, I noticed them and I loved it!
Later, Clark re-encountered Lois again and it was a painful moment as well that you were able to transmit with success, and after that all the references to the movies fell into place just nicely, for me it was perfect! You managed to blend both elsewords with mastership! The chopper scene was amazing! And too, we get to see why Clark was such a klutz when near to Lois, he was just too nervous for she was her amnesiac wife! Brilliant!
Then there was the Chloe part, it was a great way to explain why there's no a "Chloe Sullivan" in Lois's adult life, because she was forbidden to contact her. I really felt Chloe's pain and felt so sad for her, but to tell you the truth, I had a bit of a problem here, some how I don't think the General's prohibition to not contact Lois were enough to keep our dear nosy stubborn Sullivan from reaching her beloved cousin, and then hide this info from Clark. I understand this was necessary for the storyline, but I feel you could justify more about Chloe's silence, perhaps with a greater menace over her life or her father's, or even over Lois's life itself, like the General saying to her "Ok, you contact her and I'll take her away from you all again and this time she won't be able to remember she even met you" or something like that.
During the interview, you made it more interesting than the one we saw at the movie, whenever I see it, I ever say "man, why does Superman go around telling the word he can't see through lead? that's a weakness!" And when this Lois pointed it out for him I was like "Yes yes! Way to go, Lo!"
Also loved Clark being jealous over his alter ego and over Bruce Wayne, nice touch. Bruce was a pretty cool guy here.
And then he found out Lois had been Teri Hatcher, I could imagine what it must have felt for him, longing for his lost wife, the love of his life, and he had been reading her articles, her words, her thoughts all along! I just love drama! :p
BTW I think we never got a scene where Clark gave her back her wedding ring... a shame.
Watching the General understanding that his efforts had been useless was great to see as well.
Chloe's first visit to Lois was painful as well but to tell the truth I felt Chloe deserved it a little but I was really glad when they managed to work things out eventually.
Now I'm not very sure why the General didn't do anything to hide Lois' marriage, I would have imagined that after everything he did to keep her daughter away from Clark, he would have done a better job in hiding such proofs from a past he made go away, but I understand it was necessary for the plot.
Then Lois' and the General second confrontation was great too, that slap, that shot, they all were great reactions.
It was great when Lois returned to the Kent's farm, the way Martha hug her was so touching! And how her memories kept flooding into her, it was nice and smooth and a joy to read, Jonathan’s reaction was very believable as well and the barn scene, with all those naked feelings was priceless, but why did Martha had to keep interrupting them?? Geez! the woman should know better :P
Then the was Lois found out Clark was Superman was great, she found out by his touch! That was a great gift for my shipper heart =^.^=
The scene where they make love for first time was beautiful, tasteful and so romantic, the way they gave to each other was so sweet, I enjoyed it a lot, but of course, not everything could be perfect and we find out Lois is dying... Watching Lex, Clark and the General working together, or well, trying to work together was amusing in some parts and exasperating in others but I always enjoy watching, in a fic, Lex not being the evil person I know he is.
Clarks' reaction at finding out about how Lois had been hiding about the memories and migraines was understandable, he was too afraid to lose her again. Well done.
An the scene at Lionel's building was filled with action and Lois getting herself in front of a bullet to save her dad was something I wasn't expecting but it was great. When she said "Daddy." I felt so sorry for how horrible it had all gone for the two of them and I was glad they managed to work things out.
Oh and the final scene is awesome! Lois and Clark got a home and she is pregnant!
Some negative things I saw is that you keep changing your narration from past to present tense, it'd be better if you stick to only one tense. Also you keep utilizing "they're" incorrectly. "They're" is the contraction for "They are" "Their" is a pronoun that indicates possession.(Their son, their car, their friend). You mix them a lot There are also some typos here and there, or are you trying to imitate Lois' on that? ;)
Of course, this is the real reason if my review. I had NEVER written such an extended one, but this story deserves it, and I want a continuation! I heard it ZODcast that you weren't planning on doing one but please, Nadia, you can't do this to all of us, please, keep going with another delivery! It doesn't have to be angsty, it can be sweet! I have to know about that pregnancy! You know how hard it is to find descent childfics in the Supes domains? |
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