i can't believe they both died! :-(( but i see your point in making them die...i don't suppose it could have ended any other way, but still...

well, the story on the whole is simply awesome!!

*clap clap clap*

sniffles*
they both died! ='(

this oneshot/threeshot was very well written . i enjoyed reading it alot. even though i normally dont particularily fancy reading stories with angsty endings.. this one was just.. perfect. there was probably no other way to end it. hell the idea of amon awakening wif the power to heal is just too.. cliche?

well anyways. clap clap*
this was extremely well done =)

i wanna ask for another chappie but you've closed it >

whoah. they died. all of them died. but great story. but they still died. heh. ^_^

OMG! So sad!

sad but exceptional

...Um...I'm rather at a loss for words, really. To be honest, I hated the ending...but it fit. And your writing was wonderful...but...I'm still sort of numb from the shock of it to really make significant comments.

This was surperb ending even though it was a little fast-paced (just a tid bit) but heck you gotta have to fit in a proper ending for 3 parts. It was bitter sweet and sad at the same time.

Oh wow--never saw that ending coming. I must say that I did like this three-part story and I am going to be disappointed that I will be unable to re-read it after this weekend.

It takes a lot of courage to kill off beloved main characters, but honestly, I think you did a good job of it. The "rushing" of the last chapter to me seemed to mirror their rapidly deteriorating situation (or maybe I'm just reading too much into it). Honestly, I could see Amon dying with Robin. In the anime, he demonstrates a willingness to keep her safe above his own life, which means he values her above himself (or maybe I'm just uber-romantic). Well done.

You write really well, with a lot of good description and keeping everyone in character. Especially interesting was the inclusion of Touko, I'm curious as to what made you bring her back, of all people, but it made for some good tension and plot elements.

I also liked the recurrence of the flickering lightbulb imagery, though I may have to go back and re=read the story before I completely understand its significance.

Playing all this out in only three parts is a bold move, and you handled it pretty well--it certainly takes a lot of guts to kill off main characters!! So I applaud you for "boldy going where no author has gone before!"

But I do agree that compared with the slower pace of the first two parts, the ending seemed very rushed. This did help to make it more impactful, and I did notice the foreshadowing with the man who saw them going to the hotel, but the idea that Amon would automatically know it's a telepathic witch, and the suddne jump to Robin being held captive, made things very abrupt.

SO, overall, grat sotry with a unique and bold concept! But I think perhaps it would be even MORE suspenseful if perhaps a few more details were added, such as a short scene about Robin actually being captured for example, which would create more suspense with the reader, who knows Robin is in danger but has to wait for the other characters to figure it out, and would create more of a transition into the ending.

This feels incredibly weird. I've never "reviewed" my own work.

Anyway, as I have mentioned in my Profile, I made a mistake uploading Fallen and it will be taken down after the weekend has concluded. In truth, I would remove it now, but I wanted to make sure that everyone could have a chance to read the final installment if they wished - nothing worse than never finding out what happens, even with an ending such as this. I am not happy with how the story was received and that's my fault. I don't want to write things that are upsetting to people or worse, my work being perceived as incomplete or wanting in some way, especially when I was quite pleased with the final result. I didn't expect there would be any interest and in retrospect I just shouldn't have posted it. I apologize for this incident. Hopefully, the situation will be resolved once the story is removed and everyone has forgotten about me and my blunder.

I do want to say that I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to read and/or review Fallen. I just wish I had a bit more sense and foresight. I apologize again for the situation...and making it ten times worse...and more worse... I can't wait for Monday when this will be (mostly) over.

~Claire

You know I don't think you should take this down. Even if the ending was sad, it's still en exemplary piece of writing in the sea of crap that is

I love your characterization, and this is a good exploration of character, even if they do die in the end. I think you had them spot on, and seriously, there's no reason to take it down. People will still read it even if they KNOW the ending will depress them. Good writing is very often depressing. Just because it ends sadly doesn't mean people won't read it, seriously.

Keep writing, really. If it's something you enjoy then don't be deterred.

it was different!good job there!

Yes, the ending was sad but I felt it fit the story. We like reading happy endings with love and a wonderful future, but for this story I couldn't see them finding their happiness. Though in the end they did have a chance to admit their feelings, and for someone like Amon, his actions are what counts. He stays with Robin and holds her even as the bullets come. That was a touching scene.
-LtSonya

I agree with Misora here. You had a very slow and deliberate pace for the first two chapters and then suddenly sped up the ending. In fact, I think this could have been a full length fic! You had enough characters and plo elements sure enough.

Maybe you should try adding more... something to the end of the fic. (Yes, I know, very helpful.) Its a great ending and all, but it moves so fast!

But then again, maybe its supposed to be jolting?

Anyway, good job and I look forward to future works!

I hated your ending... they both died... I've been trying to avoid stories with endings like these for the past 2 months for a reason. The over all story was good it was VERY GOOD, to the point of me loving it but I hated your ending... they died... it made me cry... *glares at* if you are going to have a sad ending and you know I'm reading, then give me a little WARNING NEXT TIME!

Now I need to go get happy again...

In all I give the story the following:
Plot: 10/10
Character development: 10/10
Consistancy: 10/10
Attention to detail: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
-
50/50

You're good. Now excuse me while I go get happy. I know! How about getting your ** back on aim girl I MISS YOU! I really did love your story I just hated the ending. don't take it personally, I hate all death stories. *shifts in her chair* It feels like a suggestion. ick...