yaya a new chappie! it keeps gettin better abd better! keep it up

I always did wonder how you would make Kurenai disappear so the Vegeta would end up with Bulma... But there's more than one way to get rid of an immortal, the least of which being to strip them of their immortality. But then who says she's immortal like she thinks? She's never been fully destroyed before like cell or buu has she? She's regenerated, but never came back from actual death...

This is really great I'm really hooked on it. I can't wait to see what happens next. Good luck with your book can't wait for it to come out.

So much for no reviews till I see something new. I decided since I've told you how I felt overall, but not for each individual chapter that reviews would be better. (Besides it might motivate you to update this faster.) So...

Hmm, that's funny. Last time I read this I didn't notice that her eyes changed when she hear about Goku being from another planet. So was that the Dragon taking a look at him through her eyes or something? And her things... I may be wrong, but I don't remember you ever having her get the stuff she hid between this chapter and chapter 9 (10?). Then again, I read so many fics that I could just have forgotten it.

If they're training for the androids, they already met Vegeta, and Vegeta wanted the dragonballs to wish for immortality, remember? So that he could defeat Frieza.

*grins* Teach them not to mess with you, Goku!

What does Kurenai look like?

I think I read up to chapter nine so nothing really to say until after that. No reviews from me till then since I believe I e-mailed you what I thought about those. No use repeating myself right?

Hm.. I might be mistaken, there might be exceptions, but as far as I know, one golden rule for any writer who wants to publish anything is: Do not put it on the internet. Unless you're really famous, no one will print a story that's been around on the internet. Just my two cent...

I thought you might end up doing this. Too many people wanted it to happen, and you don't seem like the kind of person to disappoint your fans.

Okay,in order to be able to help,I need to ask a couple of questions first:

1) What do the names of your characters mean? Did you choose them because of their mening or out of random?

2) Shyriu is also the name of the Dragon Saint in Saint Seiya, another anime. That makes me think it could be a common japanese individual's name... In other words: from what I know, there aren't any japanese men out there called Shenron or Porunga, but there probably ARE japanese men called Shyriu... If that were the case, why call the very Eternal Dragon of Death with a common ordinary name?

Anyway, just as a suggestion: Metatron... the name of the Angel of the Apocalypse, and it sounds close enough to Shenron to make people think of an eternal dragon, at least in my opinion... whereas 'Shyrui' sounds like saying: 'hey look, there comes Jake'. Too random.

3) To my knowledge, the Guardian of Earth, Kami, could create the dragonballs because he was a Namek, and not due to being the Guardian: Namek's had very strong magical abilities as a race, not because they had "learned" magic. (Were these two fighting Kami himself, or a previous guardian?)

It doesn't make sense, because in the series, from what I remember, Kami and Piccolo didn't find out they were aliens, let alone nameks, until Radditz, Vegeta and Nappa came to Earth; I remember clearly when Mr. Popo was commenting the discovery to a VERY startled Kami-sama: even when Kami was the Guardian of Earth, he didn't know... He merely created the dragonballs because being a namek, even though unaware, enabled him to; not because he already knew he was a namek or because he was the Guardian of Earth. Yet this previous guardian, who isn't even described as a namek, is supposed and thought to be knowledgeable enough to know not only of the existence of eternal dragons, nameks and dragonballs, but also have the knowledge and power to create the dragonballs?

If the Guardian of Earth is expected to be such a wise individual, that he would even know about nameks and dragonballs, why allow Kami, someone who didn't even know about his very own real origins, to become the future Guardian of Earth? How come he didn't receive the knowledge of what he TRULY was when he became the Earth Guardian?

4) Quote: "Such a concept intrigued the couple, as they had always suspected that Earth’s legends of such magical beings had their basis in fact, however unlikely."

I don't really understand if they're talking about whether they suspected legends of nameks to be truth, or legends of eternal dragons to be truth. It's also important to point out that there ARE dragons on Earth already: they aren't magical so they don't grant wishes, but they exist. People might get confused whether you'r talking specificaly about the magical eternal dragons or dragons in general.

5) Quote: “Your only mistake, sorcerer, was that you failed to name which Dragon you were confining to those crystals that you created. Since you did not see fit to do so, I chose for you…”

Mhm, this is ambiguous. Does it mean Shyriu chose the dragon that would be confided inside the dragonballs, in the sorcerer's place, or that he chose the name for the dragon? If Shyriu chose which dragon would be confined, does it men he chose himself? If he chose the dragon's name,does it mean he chose his own name?

Anyway, the rest sounds okay, in my humble opinion.

I hope that helps. _

wow this is an awesome story! can't wait till u publish it. good luck with that

Interesting idea, keep going with this one