 Aleczander 2006-08-21 . chapter 1 Plz update! now that thats outta the way i can get to the review part. a very well written piece of work, even if only one chapter. I honestly see a future for this. only two things bug me. One) you didn't put rouge in a group, though she may play a part later in your story, and two) why weren't sally's friends around? it really wasen't much of a date setting with sonics friends there. and my favourite part of my reviews: the offering of new ideas and charecters! (I like to think of new chars for fanfics, but I can't write worth squat) My first is Hydra echidna, a brownish red muscled part time street fighter, known for his island tatooed dreads and his Jamacian accent, not to mention he can beat both knuckles and storm without breaking a sweat, allowing him to break up fights, as no one short of big (Its obvious that his arms are muscle, his waste may be big but no one mentions it to someone who can show muscle without even flexing) will mess with him, not even scourge. I designed him to origonally be a second ultimate life form, offsetting shadows speed with his metal mashing strength. Hydra also occasionally recieves visons of the future, though he understands that the future is never set in stone and that these visions may never come to pass, still enough do to give him a decent reputation as a seer. weither or not you use him in your story, in a position at your Fanfic school, is up to you. Most of these types of schools have 'peacekeepers' known as RA's who keep the students in line and organize certain school events. I thought that Hydra would make a nice addition to the knothole high crew. also on my mind are a gang of mobians that I designed especially for fanfics like this. they are a rough group, but are honest and generally likeable. they usually have sad backstorys and were rescued in a way by someone, who they now look up too. these could become a good group of allies for shadow, should he ever need them and the others aren't around. firstly:
Genis T Wolfe: a sophemore ex junkie that was convinced by shadow to pick himself up and become clean. he's quick and calculating, and holds his friends and his honer above all else, never forsaking them, unwilling to screw up his 'second chance.
Ceras H Vixxen: a senior that is grateful for shadow for saving her from a life of prostitution for money. shes sly and likes to flirt with others, making suggestive movements. her body is fully developed and she knows how to show it off (breathing in deeply when wearing a tight top, for example)however, shes firmly against touching, and always tries to help out a girl when they feel low on self esteem.
Talon A Falcon, a perigrine falcon who joins as a junior, he's unsure of himself after being saved from becoming a self obsessed social outcast, and hopes to find acceptance here. hes shy, unlike the others, but he's a tough foe, having trained extensivly in the martial arts, all of the others respect his battle prowess. Talon hates bullies and considers them to be stains upon others honer, yet hes very optimistic and hopes that shadow (Who he considers to be his big brother in a way) can change them as he changed him.
Lastly, the youngest, but peppyist of the group, Wilde T Cat, a freshman with a bright outlook on life. he is always cheering up people when their down, and even shadow can't help but crack a small smile at his antics. Wilde is often a bit slow when it comes to things like literature and history, but he rules when given chemistry and math. hes also good with strategy games, and he can often be found beating another student at chess or risk. unlike some others though, Wilde rarely comments on his victory, he just smiles and askes if they ever want a rematch. his natural agility rounds out the package, and he has a natural flair for gymnastics.
Race and fur colour:
Hydra: ecidna, bwronish red with purple tatoos on dreads
Genis: Wolf, greyish silver with small black claws that can extend.
Ceras: Fox, purple with blue highlights, white claws similer to genises
Talon: Perigrine Falcon, blue with white chest, carries a pair of tonfa (one handed weapon used in japan, similer to Talims weapons from SC2)
Wilde: Wild cat, sandy fur with reddish streaks wields twin katar (claw weapons, one for each hand).
Gang name: Peacekeepers
Gang members:
Hydra (troubleshooter)
Genis (Leader)
Ceras (informant and spy)
Talon (combat master)
Wilde (support unit, recon)
Shadow can be part of this too if you decide to use any of this. in terms of turf, once again only if you choose to use this idea and these charecters, is that they guard the school, and try to do what their name suggests, peace keep. they run interferance, and the fact that they are backed by Hydra (and by extension, the school officals) usually causes the other gangs to back down, temporarily at least. the peace keepers can't be everywhere though, so they can't catch them at everything, and outside the school they have little power. however, peacekeepers are rarely touched by the other gangs, simply beacause Hydra explained it to them very securly (he held them by their throats of the ground, just to make sure they listened) that "If you even THINK about touching a peacekeeper off the school grounds, or if I hear your little goon squads have been causing trouble for my friends, I'll be smacking you and your gangs around so 'ard that it'll be a cold day in 'ell before you think straight again, you 'ear me mon?" and he was serious about every word. once again, these are just ideas and you have no need to use them, though I would be very happy if you did. I apoligize for making this so long, I'll try to make my next review shorter. and one last time now: UPDATE!!
Aleczander |