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| puddles1311 2006-08-20 ch 1, | abusehehehe, Xmas specials are full of shit, i love that! another chpater would be cool! thanks |
| Helpful Reader 2006-02-06 ch 1, anon. | abuseYou need to proof your story, or have someone like a teacher or parent proof it for you before you post it. It was a but (built) like a hotel suite Their coffee isn't ever (even) good looked like there (they) were from Lord of the Rings And there's (they’re) the boys But there was so (no) big hairy snowman Or, in it's (its) case, a grunt tall furry snawman (snowman) from it's (its) mouth It's (its) eyes were yellow it's (its) even more yellow teeth that horns on it's (its) head in it's (its) stomach sweep of it's (its) arm swung it's (its) claws at John's chest with it’'s(its) fist Ronan hit is (it) a few times which crack (cracked) under his force opened the read (rear) hatch again "its" is possessive, "it's" is the same as saying "it is" There are also a lot of past/present tense verb mix-ups. The story is good, you just need to spend some time on your writing technique so that it does justice your creativity. |
| Susan the Tartan Turtle 2006-02-05 ch 1, | abusemore please...good writing and good story |
| Timespirt 2006-02-05 ch 1, | abuseWell, I'm ready for the next chapter! Please Thank You |
| Delka 2006-02-04 ch 1, anon. | abuseInteresting. And I would definately read more. Fine go at it. |
| rogue1503 2006-02-04 ch 1, | abuseCool! - I really liked this - go Ronon - I like the way you play his character! - this was fast paced and is a great plot - oh I bet you've got more than one bunny on the go with this one - haven't you? I really enjoyed it - the two girls "making out" - *snicker* I'd love Rodney to see that! - that would be so cool - I can imagine the dropped jaw already - too funny. I'm feeling cold and since I'm in the tropics it can only mean one thing - go you! very emotive little number. So in case you haven't figured it out yet - *back on bended knee* - please please please can we have another chapter! - no matter the delay? - can we? - please? - you whumped him *eg* you even whumped Ronon *eeg* c'mon, there has to be more in that evil mind of yours - and a Yeti - so did they actually "see" the sucker minced? - I'm wondering... maybe another escape route from that cave? - oh, the bunnies are thumping now! - go on, please write another one... |
| saiyuki123 2006-02-04 ch 1, | abusePretty good story. Nice job with keeping the stargate characters in character. :) |