please update soon

Interesting.

It's nice to see a male OC in here, but try and veer him from Gary Stu.

Gary Stu is the male equivalent of the Mary Sue. Thus far, Toshirio (is that Japanese? Please show me the website where it came from!) seems all right, but remember that above all else, the One Ring must be destroyed. The whole trilogy is centered around its destruction, so let's not have our Japanese boby wonder upstage Frodo, eh?

Also, the author's notes? They're cute, but those get boring easily. Try to keep it to a maximum of four or five lines.

And I'm pretty sure that everyone here knows the lines of the movie heart by heart. Try to use less of the movie dialogue and more from the book.

I do hope this was helpful.

~ Aislinn

Wow: I certainly can't say that this wasn't interesting! I like how you've set up the character (Torishio), and I can't wait to see what his destiny has in store for him...