It certainly isn't bad, so you don't need to worry about that. Your writing itself is good, which is more than what some other fan fiction writers here can say. The idea behind your fic is good, and I'm curious to see how it all will work out in the end.

Please update soon!

Good job I think. Not much has gone on, but since it's the first chapter, this is alright.

Keep on improving and try to make the next chapter longer, with more detail.