AND WHAT HAPPENS WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AUTORS THAT CANT FINSHEH I STIRY PLEASE FINSHED THE STORY OR I WILL HAVE TO PUBLISH MY OWN STORY WHICH WILL BE HARD NOT HAVEINH A COMPUTOR I NEED THIS STORY FOR MY SOUL

I loved this chapter. It was very well written-exciting and gripping! More, please please please!

I really like this story! It's very descriptive and you can really see the charecters' emotions. I love the storyline too-it's gripping and exciting and mysterious. You're a great writer. Keep it up!

By the way, I'm looking foreward to your next chapter! :)

I really liked this story. The "master" was truly deranged and it was interesting to read about a character that even Helaine couldn't handle. It would be nice to read more and find out just what is the past that these two share.

Wow, you really pulled me into the story with the intensity of the characters. Try not to let that fall away; intensity in emotion and action are great for keeping a reader reading and showing unique sides to the particular person. Love what you've done with the Master!

wow i really liked this story so far can you make more pretty please with sugar and whip cream and...chocalate syrp on top!

it wasn't any kind of disappointment... i enjoyed it and i'm looking forward to your update...

I like it I think it's one of the better fanfics I've read. Of course since this is such a small fandom that probably doesn't sound like much

Your PM is disabled so I'll reply here. I got it at Borders. I also thought it wasn't supposed to be out till June but it was there so I bought it. I think you can order it on amazon too already.

Your story seems to have coaxed me out of retirement.

I feel like you're rushing through this story. Slow down and enjoy the ride a little more. Breaking up your paragraphs into more manageable chunks will help too - try to line break each time a new character speaks.

That said, your word choice is strong and I can tell that you're feeling comfortable inside the skins of the characters. I really liked what you had them do during the hiatus - Helaine especially. Good luck taking this story from the set-up to the heart of the plot... I'm sure you've noticed that this point is where a lot of authors run into trouble, but I'm sure you'll do wonderfully.

And thanks for the compliment in the first chapter - it's been a long time since I've been around Diadem (blame academia), but it gave me a thrill. Let me know if I can help you in any way.

Aroo!

like it. try to make the chapters a little longer though. update soon.

good start. definetly continue.