A great story. Very good.

Oh, that's sad!

Wow. That was amazing, and powerful, and incredibly angsty and tragic. For someone who doesn't like Susan, you sure write her well.

I think what you wrote was amazingly poetic, if this is what being tired makes you write, maybe you should write at two in the morning from now on.

This was amazing. I loved every last bit of it. Not confusing at all. The way the sentences flowed into each other (does that make sense?) was spectacular. It all really created an image -- I could understand how Susan was (er, as a person I mean), and what she had become, and definitely her grief. I loved this piece. Especially the "forever day" part. That somehow just struck me as tremendously great imagery.

Wow, my review was far more confusing then your story. :P

Anyway, I loved it, and I can't wait to hear more from you. I love your "Colourful" pieces as well. You're going on my alerts list. :)

~AmazinglyMe

*cries* Sad. *sniffs*

Every time I think about Susan, I get a cold, nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I keep thinking - there are doors to Aslan's country from our world too, so maybe she made it. Eventually. Some day.

Wow - so intense! Susan's pain in constant motion - wave upon wave upon wave. . . Excellent!

i loved it. wonderous job.
~angelface04~

AMAZING. I absolutely loved it. I definitely wouldn't say it was incomprehensible, it did make sense to me. And I think that the format that it's in really works for this type of story. I think that the choppier, fragments of sentences really work in this story, because when awful things like this happen to you, that's exactly the way you think and feel. Do you know what I mean? Well, maybe I'm the one being incomprehensible. But I definitely love it. It was awesome!

That was beautiful - agonizing, but beautiful. I'm not sure that I've ever read a story that captures in such perfect, heartwrenching detail what it feels like to learn that you've lost somebody you love. Poor Susan.

Haunting. Not confusing at all, actually, if you know what it's talking about. The fragmented sentences actually create the sort of shocked, disjointed feeling that Susan probably had when the telegram came. And you've actually given me a massive plotbunny for a oneshot. If I finish it, it will be dedicated to you.