add me ur cool

you repeat yourself a lot, sometimes in the same paragraph... also you have a strange fascination with the word 'attrition' you use it a lot in this story as well as your other stories.

op mary sue

i do believe Kakashi would be more than suprised that Naru can use the Hiraishin since only one other person on the planet was ever able to do it and that person is dead

lol D:

Aw this was a great story and I loved it a lot hehe. You did very well on this story and I intend on reading the others ^^

Interesting concept. I don't think I would've ever thought up making the Jinchuriki turn into the Biju themselves. That's a really good idea.
Overall, I am impressed with your story and, while I'd've liked the story to end a little faster, I enjoyed reading the entire thing. I am very impressed.
I'll admit, there were a lot of typos (actually, very few considering the number of words you used, lol) and a few grammatical misuses, but overall it didn't pull away from the plotline or become so annoying that the chapters were difficult to read.
I look forward to reading more of your works!

~Fenix

uh Orochimaru was confused about the fact that Naru was a Kazama? didn't he reveal to her that the fourth was her father in the forest? well other than that good job so far

Kakashi quit anbu so that once an anbu always an anbu doesn't realy work

Naru is a ninja and while 20 pounds on each limb is a bit annoying for me (not constantly) I wear them often and its not to much of a problem only slows me down a bit tho the weights get annoying after awhile tho no cus of the weight themselfs but it cuts off circulation and is usualy either to tight or to loose. However it shouldn't be heavy for ninja and she's only wearing 5 pounds per limb more than me any way other than that good job

ABOLUTELY LOVED! xD Did you notice your little typo in this last chapter?

//Itachi simply watched. Shiori had a way with small children, raising her own and looking after others. This little child was no different. They were wearing still wearing their clothing from Konoha. He still wore his black gi and hakama and dark blue haori while Naiko wore a white version with a blue sash and with the edges embroidered. The little child laughed at something Shiori said and ran off, yelling goodbyes with delight and gratitude.//

Naiko? xD

I have to say this is my #1 favorite story.
Ive read better ones before, with better scenes/descriptions and what not...But, this one had something those other ones didnt, cant really explain it though.

I think Ill reread this story again!

Signed, Your Fan,
Kit the Fiendish Fire Cat!

PS: Keep up the great work!

Awesome concept, but you sped the story up too fast and made Naru too powerful. Maybe if you rewrote this it would turn out a lot better.

Good concept, hopefully good story too.

Thanks for the fun and interesting story. Please write more of these.