Fascinating...your Exile is an interesting blend of Visas and something else. It's also always nice to see more of Kavar. Such a cool guy, but so rarely seen.

Another interesting pair, it would seem; most writers using Kavar would hook him up with the LS Exile. And still, ironically, your DS character worked better than most. Especially since she's what one would expect from an Exile: has a lot on her mind, doesn't just go joking around childishly... things like that.

I'm already quite fond of your writing style, to say so. You have a way with giving just the right amount of detail; it's that quality over quantity rule with you. As a side note, for me reading your fics worked fabulously with some expressive instrumental music in the background.

Damn! That was brilliant! I wish I'd found this sooner. Your prose is so poetic, it works wonderful imagery into your scenes. Dialogue is another strong point of yours, it's witty and clever but also quick and unattainably precise. Like this, "Does it matter? They won’t be any less dead either way.I’m done defending myself against you, Kavar. If the only reason you came here was to relive my trial, I’d just as soon get an early start on exile."

Perfect Dark Side justification...I like how the actions that your characters take are driven by emotion and passions rather than just cold hard logic. This goes in the favorites!

I love all of your description of the surroundings. The serenity is in wonderful contrast to what she has become. Kavar's inner turmoil was very well done. I like how she always went to him before when she was hurt and did so again now.

*jaw drops* It's just beautiful. There isn't a single thing I could not like about it... the scenery, the characterizations, it's all perfect. I love your Exile and the fact that she's lost more than just the Force in the war, and how it refelcts her inner corruption. Plus you've taken her relationship with Kavar on a new level. *fangirls you* :)

This is excellent.

You have wonderful character interaction and dialog along with emotional appeal. It flows nicely and is immensely enjoyable.

*brain twitches* This...was really good. The language was excellent, the feeling of pain/regret from Kavar was authentic...and the Exile was so very, very broken. The best thing about KotORII is how the bad guys are just trying to fix the world - or break it...

One nitpick, though: The Council is on Coruscant, not Dantooine. Her exiling would have taken place there.

Elena

Beautiful story. I adored this and hope to see more from you.

Kavar was such a strong, caring Jedi...it is too bad that the Mandalorian Wars had to happen...

Anyway, I liked how you wrote Master Kavar, Lonna Vash and him seemed like the only two on the council who had any reason when they exiled the exile.

Holy S-! This was great! It totally caught me off-guard, as I thought she would have asked him to end her life right then and there. I was rather surprised to see that he grew angry, but I figure that's what would happen when one's star student became a shell of what she once was. Great job, I really loved this.

Excellent descriptions as always. You have a talent for creating the scene in its entirety, so that the reader becomes absorbed in the world you've created.

There were some nice moments captured here, the "I fell" being one. But I really loved this: "No, he amended. The way she looked at me when I spoke my judgment, like the Wars had left a knife stuck in her chest and I was twisting it..."

I can't think of a better decription/moment that elucidates just how the Exile must have felt to come back from the war and have the Council do what they did.

Wonderful work.

Very nice! I was thinking of tackling this one myself just because of how many ways you could take it, but I like what you've done with it. I especially like when she asked him if she thought he could have saved her. Rather poignant. Great job!

Wow, that was good! Wonderful build up, coming to the ending in a plausible yet wonderfully masked way.

Great description as always.

Loved the little connection between them around the "I fell" and "Then you must learn to catch yourself." Poignant, unique, and appropriate.

The bit about how her Force bonds ability is changed by the wound, and the dark ways it can now influence others... excellent! Will you carry that idea into your Fever Dreams, I wonder. I'll guess I'll just have to wait and see.

BaM