Your ending captures Jareth more than any other part of the story. It seemed like something he would do. Laughter, throwing back his head. Good job, here. I stand by the fact this is indeed, a diamond in its rather rougher stage, before really being polished, but, then some like them just as they are.

Sarah, your body will need time to adjust to the magic,"he told her carefully."It is unlikely you will conceive for years."

Eying the man whose image had driven her nuts over the last decade, she smiled and peered up at him through her lashes with a look she hoped was universal.

"Practice makes perfect," she murmured.

He blinked, then he smiled a slow lazy smile before throwing his head back and laughing with delight.

This story is like a diamond in the rough. It needs a lot of tweaking. A lot more explanation to it, for it is very confusing, and down right incoherent in places. A great deal should be explained about the king is the land, the land is in the king, that they are one. For heaven's sakes, what is it about fighting DESPAIR as if it were a real thing. That is one of the things that is most unclear. Now, I did really, really enjoy this story, as I am a student of Celtic Studies and recognise what you are trying to get across. I could fill in the spaces, I am afraid that most people could not. I saw other similar complaints. This would make a good novel, in fact, if it were rewritten, and fixed to be more understandable. I got lost more than once, but I love the way you write. You have real talent for the turning of a phrase, and, oh, such an imagenation. At times I felt like I was reading Lord of the Rings, or, they were on a quest like the Aruthurian Legends. Maybe you have abandoned your Stargate stories, but, I love Stargate,and would love to see one with Sam and MArtouf, as I have never seen a good fic involving them together. Jareth was rather a pitiful character here, and, I just don't see him that way. I understand he was a child of two worlds, and for heaven's sakes, why did you name Fionvara, or Dadga, or even Arawn as his grandfather. Maybe one of the older gods even, like, Cerrunos, or Mannanan, or even Lir.

Interesting, bemusing, enchanting. Some chapters were easier to follow than others, but over all a very good tale.

After reading the sequel I came back and read this and so Mich more makes sense now re jareths behaviour. Hope you continue with the sequel.

I've just started reading this but I'm already excited to see Sarah as a firefighter. It's not a scenario I've seen before and now I'm all sorts of intrigued by it. Excellent job!

Great story.

I really like the scene between Sarah and the mare.

Very good, but some things are unresolved. What happened with the Challenge? It seems to be implied that they won but a clear statement would be better. Who is going to be Goblin Queen? Sarah? What happened to the Challenger, L-something? How does all this affect the rest of the Underground? There is lots left to be told.

Otherwise a very good fic, I like it, I'm faving it, thanks for writing and sharing.

Oh man, this is great! I love the twists and turns, and how you developed Sarah as her own person after the movie, as a strong woman trying to move on with her life. I loved the political manuvering and how alien the Unseelie are, and how you show how complicated her relationship with Jared has been and will continue to be. I think you *did* have her a bit too perceptive about the other characters' motives, but also I did enjoy her assuming things wrongly and the misunderstandings on both their parts. I also really like how you developed all the worldbuilding for this universe and made it your own. I'm just a bit sad there isn't more to read for future Court intrigues and adventures in the world you've created! Really enjoyable read.

they're both tiresome. and who is Saren anyway?

haha. already the goblin queen.

brave Sarah.

well, at fifteen she was overly excitable. so dramatic. every time i see it i roll my eyes.

haha. good for Sarah. and her mare.

oh. that's nice. he was pleased with something rather than frustrated.