|Reviews for The Land of Angels|
| Alaena Night 6/13/06 . chapter 1
Hello! This is a well-written story about Rem's perspective og Vash's life as she watches him in Heaven. I love that you brought Alex and Tessla into the story, but more than anything, I like how you made Rem happy that Vash finally chose his own way. I thought she would! )
The sentences are a bit uniform, and may be better if you changed their construction, but the way they're written also adds a dream-like quality to the story.
And I just realized! Are you the same Knight of the New Moon on Trinut? (Tragic World here.) Anyway, awesome story! Keep up the good work!
| pottachu 2/13/06 . chapter 1
You captured Rem's thoughts; she was in character and as loving as ever. I enjoyed the part of her meeting Tessla, the idea behind her continuous love of Vash and even Knives, and the way she felt empathy for them. As for your writing, the word choice was great, but I would offer advise on sentence flow. I notice most the sentences went "noun - verb. noun - verb." Try switching structures around like "Throwing his read coat in the air..." instead of "He threw his red in the air"
Thanks for the read!