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| FlippedoutKyrii 2007-06-27 ch 1,  | abuseI like it! Really nice description of what was going on, and that is what is lacking in a lot of fanfiction these days. |
| Mirutsa Ilayin 2006-06-02 ch 1, | abuseIt was eerie, with some pretty intense emotion in there. I'm not sure you intended, but I picked up an inference to JC being dead, which works well as a justification. Two things I noticed, which are probably typos: blood stained on his clothing - blood stains? the agents de-cloaked - the agent? Anyway, cheers. Keep writing. |
| von Rhettenstien 2006-03-11 ch 1, | abuseHm interesting you should continue. |
| MaWa 2006-02-15 ch 1, | abuseThe descriptions are excellent and the piece is scary in places. It looks more like a one-shot piece to me, but if you intend to continue it, I'll be looking forward to it and I'll be following it closely. I have some doubts on Paul Denton though. I don't know if I got it right, but I can't portray him as a killer. But I understand that such portrayal of Paul is critical for your story and I'm curious how you will develop this character in the later chapters. |
| DeusExfreak 2006-02-14 ch 1, | abuseFirst off, the descriptions here are top-notch. Very good. Lots of descriptions of emotions aswell, without just saying stuff like "Paul was angry" or "Paul was sad" Paul's attitude seems to change, and I'm not sure where this fits into the game, but I'd like to see where this goes before declaring it criticism. |
| Metroid13 2006-02-14 ch 1, | abuseWell, I like it. I wouldn't mind seeing it continue. |