Since you said constructive ('particulary contrsuctive') reviews, were welcome, I think I'll just help myself.

This is really good. Of course, there is always room in improvement for everyone. Now, you may not want to admit this, but when I said that, something crashed down on your head. No, don't get the idea that you were bad. It's just the fact I don't believe in 'perfect' (let's just say I'm a realist xD). This must come pretty close, though. There wasn't much I found wrong, but I'm sure you could always add something in and everyone would swoom and say how wonderful it was ^_^.

I notice that you always put these little catchy lines in your stories; I like it. It makes it interesting and choppy, but you don't always want to make everything flow. You want to throw the reader off every once and awhile - just so they know you aren't that dependable.

The one scene I didn't like was the one where Rin tries to cut herself with the rock. It wasn't anything you did - I just didn't like it. It's probably some personal issue about cutting yourself with rocks (but don't worry because it's not your fault I don't like it too much - though maybe you wouldn't care if I thought it was something you did).

Overall, this is a piece of work. I really hope you don't mind that I add it to my c2 community. I would add it to my favorites too, but adding it to my c2 community is practically the same thing. The only difference is that you have to click on a separate link to get to my c2.

Keep up the wonderful work.

hmm very original. i have never heard of sesshomaru not caring or rin staying the way she was. i like it a little depressing but very well done. props

^.^

I've never thought that Rin might be caught in eternal childhood by her resurrection (sort of like Claudia, in Interview w/the Vamp). Or that Tenseiga's will might not be the best thing for her. I love the progression of Sesshoumaru's thoughts on Rin, and the introspective style in which they're presented.

Thanks for this original take on the Sess/Rin dynamic.

You've managed to put a new spin on Rin's resurrection and present a meaningful story very elegantly. I think I need to work more Sesshoumaru introspection into my own writing.

I think Rin must've had conflicting feelings regarding Sesshoumaru not using Tenseiga on Kohaku.

Your writing is more descriptive and flowing than anything I've produced to date. I hope you get to use your writing skills professionally someday.

That was so cool! I don't think anyone's ever thought of Rin like that. All I can say is wow. Wow. As in Wonderful Outragious Words. I'm in utter awe. Yay! I should probably say something smart now... Hmm. How about 'E=mc2'? No? Then how about this 'Bananas are yellow. Apples are red, and green, and brown, and yellow, and all sorts of funy colors!'. Okay then!

Lotsa Love!

Brickwall847

OMG...I loved that so much I cried. I never thought of Rin staying in a child's body her whole life, due to her resurrection. I just assumed she would age and die.
Good job on keeping tham in character, that was a really fantastic story.

I've finally done it: I'm falling to the dark side.

I'm becoming jealous.

What a coinicidence that you write about Sesshoumaru and Rin just as I was struggling over Sesshy in the 4th chapter of AHR! Though I could never write him as well as you've done here... ((wails)) I'm starting to sound redundant, even in my reviews now...

Anyway. The reviewing must go on...

I love the whole structuring of this fic. Your character-introspective vignette-style has really grown on me. I see that you've also capitalised on the possibility that Rin remembered the moment of her death... She fears death. Nobody's really considered in depth what she would feel about the whole thing -- just that she was happy for the life she had got from Sesshoumaru's hands. It makes sense, though.

But, leaving aside Rin, it was Sesshoumaru that really impressed me. I really liked how you explored the dimensions of his relationship with Rin (despite the rather conspicuous absence of Jaken)... how it first grew from being a mere obligation (albeit being a very *resented* one), to companiable understanding, to... acceptance. Sesshoumaru finally accepting -- while nearing the hundredth year of his time with Rin -- that she was *his* Rin, to be with him forever (not that he liked it much though). Threading in little scenes of the lifetime they spent together... of all the things that progressively change and mature within them, of the understanding they achieve... to finally end in an almost tragic manner, where... nothing changes. How everything goes a full circle. Wow.

And finally Rin wanting to just die... I could really sympathise with the girl-woman-oldlady. Your description of how she aged within that little body of hers over the years was really... I don't know, touching. I could practically *feel* what Rin felt.

And while we're on the subject, you have a written a really innovative possibility of what could happen to Rin after being resurrected by the Tensaiga. I never considered the possibility that she could never age physically. Kudos to your creative thinking! (Unless it *is* canon. Been ages since I've watched IY).

As for grammar, spelling... gyaah, writing this is a waste of review space. I could find no mistake, as usual -- I'm really impressed at how thouroughly you seem to proof-read all of your works!

And now, to other things... "alternatepairingsitis", eh? I wouldn't mind catching that. (I think I've already caught it. I'm already pairing a... wait and see. It's IY) You sound like you're obligated to write MirSan. I know you feel that way, but I wouldn't advise it, yaar!

You want a good MirSan fic? Then check out "Nihil Credo" by Personification of Fluff. 'Tis in my favs. Seriously one of the BEST MirSan fics I've read in a LONG, LONG time. (Aside from yours', of course). She's written some excellent MirSan one-shots, as well. "Delirium" would be my recommendation over there.

Anyway, thanks for writing this story. You keep getting better with every fic you write, seriously. This was a wonderful piece of introspective on Sesshoumaru and Rin. It's amazing how much depth and meaning you've conveyed in so few words. It's a talent I shamelessly envy. (I've been scolded for my overly-eloquent style of writing more than once by my teachers. In fact, my Chemistry teacher, who was correcting my class test paper, wrote in the margin, "Don't write stories", 'coz I'd written para-length answers even for question that deserved only 1 mark. And you know the first thing I wondered: "How the hell does *she* know that I write fanfiction?!")

Great, here I ramble again. But seriously, this story was a good tonic. I was beginning to lose interest in IY -- thought it was getting unbearably boring -- and the only reason I ever watched the occasional episode at all was because of Miroku, but you've rekindled the old interest. Sort of. :p

I bow once more to auperior literary skills. *bows*

Take care, and keep writing!

*blinks*

I've just got to sit for a bit and soak this all in...

Okay, I'm ready now. First off, you know when you read something, no matter how long or whatever, you know you aren't going to forget it in a long time? This is one of them. It expresses what is shown through the orgiginal storyline, but takes it to an entirely different level of understanding and perception. The structure and syntax of this fic was really good too, especially how you begin each paragraph with the same concept of the first time thing. It was very effective, and tied the paragraphs together more too.

I never really thought about Rin's case this way, as we always seem to just look at how wonderful it is she's alive and has someone to care for her. This voices what's known on a general basis but is never really spoken or written about, I guess because we don't want to. I suppose in the end, the blackness of everything will take over, and nothing, not even an eternal body of youth can last forever.

In short, this is one hell of an awesome story.

~Miko-chan