is it bad if i say that is the dumbest story i have ever read i'm sorry but, the whole crap about the daemons let themselves "see the love" is kinda stupid. you had potential but you screwed it up sorry

I quite agree with you, for a first fic this was good! But I agree with you once again, the ending was rather weak. Although, it did make sense, and with perhaps a bit more of a back-story and some insight on Lyra and Will's personal views and emotions, this could have been pretty brilliant! So, just to restate my view which probably got muddled somewhere in here, nice job!

It was reaally good, but i have some questions: what happens to lyra and will? do they separate again? how can Will and Mary go back to their world now that the five are gone?

I really enjoyed reading your story and hope you get better as an author. Keep up the good work, and as a suggestion I think you should write a sequel.

-From a fellow writer who loves to read

Wow, that was really good! I didn't think it was too formal at all, at some points you sounded very like the original author. But I thought you rushed some bits, especially Iorek's attack.

its okay. poor cute little daemons.

When I saw that this story was done, I figured that you'd wanted to finish it quickly and expected a terrible ending. Instead I found something that fit quite well. Your ending is, for lack of a better word, ending. The story feels complete; it feels like any more chapters would be a waste and that you picked the perfect place to end it. On this I congratulate you, and I loved your story and writing style. I look forward to reading anything else by you.

jeez. spooky.

WOW. This story continues to impress. One thing though-you seem like you're trying too hard to write in Pullman's style, and parts of the story seem a little forced. That said, this is an enormous step above most other HDM stories. Please keep writing and I'll keep reading!

wow... it's very very interesting and I do hope you update soon...

sounded too formal but OH PLEASE UPDATE SOON CUZ I SO LOVE YOUR STORY!! GLEE!!

...wow. I can honestly say that, when I began reading this story, your first fanfic, I expected something like the vast majority of other HDM fics-a "get Will and Lyra together as fast as possible and spare no grammar mistake to get them there" type of story. But yours is different. In fact, something about your writing style makes me immediately love this story. Please update soon, and excellent job!

hey! great first chapter! i couldnt see any grammer or spellings mistakes exept you changed the name of wills date. it started off sophie then changed to katie! you mite want to change that... keep on writing! Lisa x

wow. ive got tears in my eyes. no, seriously! O

I like this story, it's cute and I hope you continue it.
My only thing to say is that you might now want to make Will seem so emotional and angry. It doesn't seem like him.
I always just pictured him as being really sad but not thinking that anyone noticed.
I really do hope you continue this though.