with Akane. Naked.

[Is this referring to Akane, who is consistently portrayed as wearing pajamas and is the last named subject?]

Again

[Missing closing period]

"Gomen nasai, Tendo-sensei.

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"Ohayo gozaimasu, class."

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"Chibiko-chan?" "Hai!"

[Source Mixing, unnecessary Japanese]

Then it hit me: when you're *trying* to lose him, it'll never work. He'll always find you when you don't want him to.

[Murphy’s law?]

"RYO...GA! HOW *DARE* YOU MOLEST MY LITTLE GIRL!"

[Soun’s seen Ryouga jump into the furo numerous times, and seen him go to bed with Akane. If he had a problem with it, he should’ve done it then. The fact that he never did means that he’s either got the eyesight of a mole, the selective memory of a politician, or (what more easily fits with the canon presentation) saw it and chose to consistently ignore it]

I suppose he figured there was no sense wrecking the dojo when he knew he'd have to fix it himself, but you have to admire the presence of mind involved there.

[True, but when they’re as mad as you described they’re not in such a state of wherewithall]

"Sugoi, Tendo-sensei!

[Unnecessary Japanese]

like in Ms. Hinomiya's

[Ninomiya]

at least that would mean I'd get *one* fiancée off my back,

[How would Soun be getting mad at Ryouga help get Akane to direct attention away from Ranma?]

"That... that... that PERVERT Ryoga was in bed with my little Akane!

[This is inconsistent: he’s seen Akane carrying ‘P-chan’ to bed, him acting surprised is out of character]

Heck, if I'm not mistaken, Mr. Tendo's seen Ryoga transform and for whatever reason never bothered to put two and two together.

[So how does this fit with Soun now getting off his butt and acting on what he’s seen…many times?]

were Ucchan (and her warrior's code was as strict as mine, if not more so)

[1: when did she learn it? 2: what would stop her from telling Akane, she made no oath and Ranma never told her about it in canon]

Shichi Hokodan chi-ball,

[Shi Shi, though under the circumstances he wouldn’t direct it and would probably let loose a perfect SSH]

even a kawaii girl

[Unnecessary Japanese]

or I'd have really felt strange holding a guy's hand).

[Why? There’s no social stigma against it in Japan. Or little of one, if it’s started to pick up one from outsiders – the practice is still common in the Near East and Mediterranean cultures]

"Tadaima! I'm home!

[Unnecessary Japanese, and shows you don’t know what you’re using because it’s repeating the same thing]

you insensitive baka?"

[Unnecessary Japanese]

complete pervert, ne?

[No]

so it's not like she could blame anybody but herself

[This is Akane we’re talking about, of course she could blame everybody but herself]

that kawaiikune tomboy?

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"Spring of Drowned *Fish*? How's that possible?"

[Technically, something only has to be immersed in the spring and (possibly leaving a chi imprint in the magic water). Reference when ‘spring of drowned Akane’ is created late in the manga]

* part 4

[Wouldn’t this better be separated as chapters, instead of long paragraphs?]

I'd say we're better off crossing the Bering Straits.

[Even Ryouga should know enough not to try to swim in water less than 10 degrees. NWC may be superhuman, but even that would kill them]

The baka.

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"(Kaishu Tenshin Amaguriken!)" I whispered to myself.

[1: it’s not necessary to say attacks, even in canon Ryouga and Ranma simply strike without naming what they’re going to be doing (the practice, in case you’re curious, is a holdover from manga that can’t always show the action because of space constraints). 2: if he’s going to say it at all, he’s not going to whisper]

"Tokyo? As in Japan?" Oh boy, have we got rocket scientists

[Obviously you’ve never heard of Lebanon, Tennessee (america) or Istanbul, Slovakia. It’s a legitimate question]

anything beats marching across the Bering Straits in mid-winter.

[Particularly as, even in the depths of the northern winters, it NEVER FREEZES ENTIRELY. It hasn’t since the last ice age]

armed with third-class tickets and

[If they’re watching cargo, they’re probably not going to be in passenger aircraft. They’re going to be in the ‘spare crew seating’ area of a cargo aircraft, seating capacity varies by plane but they’re generally 90% cargo and as little people space as possible for people because that’s not where they make their money]

after all, ne?),

[No]

watching her get undressed and all

[Ryouga seems to come nearly to exsanguinations just by a slight show of affection from Akane, or mere _mention_ of a girl being ‘less than clad’. Those being the case attested to in both canon, I think he would have to turn away]

would give their eyeteeth

[Their what?]

Kasumi's cooking, ne?

[No]

"Jehovah's Witness. Sorry about that."

"You didn't just deck him?" Nabiki arched her eyebrows.

"Why? He's unarmed.

[Strange that you’d have Nabiki propose the idea when Ranma’s never slugged an unarmed person – he’s never even beaten up Gosinkugi, who’s tried to kill him (albeit through magic) several times, and he’s left Mousse (who’s tried to directly murder him) with naught but bruises any number of times]

and choke down a bite or two,

[Why’s he trying to be nice? Ranma knows how toxic her food is and takes off running at the mere threat of it]

Ai ren!"

[There’s no space, and it doesn’t need to be capitalized]

"What kind baka you

[Unnecessary Japanese]

"- have brought us your cure!"

[Um…Shampoo’s home village is a matter of kilometers from Jusenkyo. She can’t just cure herself because she has the curse as a punishment. If that’d been changed, they would’ve taken care of it by now. Not that Ranma might not stop by and chat for old time’s sake anyway]

The Master. Happosai.

[Ranma’s never called Happosai ‘master’, in any sense]

He was in the dojo! And that kids' class

[But Happosai’s not interested in molesting children, just grown women]

for a advancement.

[an]

"Hai, Saotome-sensei!"

[Unnecessary Japanese]

Ryoga and me, ne?

[No]

I can't simply go in there and demolish him.

[Yes he can, he and Genma have burst in with chains and bounds numerous times when they thought they could catch Happosai off-guard]

If it wasn’t for the unnecessary Japanese, this would’ve been a pretty good story.

good story update soon

An excellent story, worthy of the manga itself.

I liked this story a lot! I never would have thought of anything like this! One question though, who is Mike? Is it Ryoga's VA? That would explain why they thought he sounded the same...

I don't even want to think of how Happi-chan looked *shudders* maybe like Cologne.

Nice job! Really excellent story!

-aqua_illusion

cool Story! I wonder what Ryoga looked like as a girl... A what does Ramna mean by he'll work on her him self! Shame on you Ramna!

that was great!

I am impressed. This is one of the better fanfics I have read. I was not expecting the ending to turn exactly the way it did. (One can only hope.) Anyway, Good job.

what exactly does Ranma mean- 'that oughta give me time to work on her myself' ? let's just say it sounds wrong, very very wrong...!

Good story! Ryoga rocks!

LOVE THIS!

Kewl

Loved it

Way to go Ucchan! Love da story - but what does Ranma mean when saying, " That oughta give me time to work on her myself."? Well, me and my hentai mind...I KNOW that's not it but I couldn't help but giggle! Can't wait for your next one!