Aww poor Crateros ha-ha I enjoyed this story very much I just wonder what Alexander was thinking the 5 min's that Crateros was crussing Hephaestion

Hahaha wow. that was brilliant. XD Crafty, sneaky Hephaestion. And Crateros is so lovable in this! D I love this!

I love the humour in this story.

"thank all the gods Crateros had lost interest in boys years ago, because Hephaestion’s beauty was quite distracting. " Ah ha, doesn't sound so convincing. *winks*

Your A/H fanfics are so beautiful!

This gives a new angle to this famous quotation. Your Crateros is every bit as envious and *bad* as *mine*, and I sure like it to see him deceived. He has no business treating Hephaestion so badly and talking without respect to him. His jealousy makes him blind to the superior qualities of Alexander's True Steadfast Friend and it serves him right to be proven wrong.

The morning scene in the King's tent is hilarious, the mix of angst and humor quite wonderful. Perhaps it helped the Macedonians to win the day. :)

No wonder Craterus fought bravely and brutally in the Battle of Issus, what with such a powerful projection! I feel sorry for *my* Hephaestion, having to put up with such malice and envy.

All the best wishes and many thanks for sharing,

/NorthernLight

It's refreshing to see a funny Alexander/Hephaistion story. Nicely done! I stumbled across your fics a few days ago and have already read all of them and enjoyed them greatly. What do you know, has some good authors after all! Do you post anywhere else besides

The first three paragraphs just set the whole tone. Crateros, determined to resist Alexander's charm but knowing "he had lost even before his king replied." Alexander, "eyes shining with love," charming to his best officer, astutely dramatic, but so dreamy and seemingly on another plane entirely at the mere mention of Hephaestion's name!

Hephaestion emerging from the tent (the 1st time) with a "happy grin" is . . . wonderful! And he really does try to explain to Craterus what the relationship is. Were you letting him let a mask slip, like he did with Bagoas? or perhaps, he's influenced by just having spent time with Alexander, the number one dreamer and human nature-optimist of them all. Then, of course, there's Hephaestion's little performance about Troy being the last time. I could almost hear a play-by-play of his tactics - all right, droop shoulders, lower voice to a whisper, feint with an appearance of being truly upset - and he maneuvered Craterus right where he wanted!

Alexander's explanation for Hephaestion's slip-up . . . doesn't really hold up to logic. Shows just how wound up these great commanders are, that they could be distracted to cheer about victory etc. just like that - heehee, makes me like them all the more!

I like your Crateros very much - he may be rough and tumble as a soldier, but only because as a soldier and a "real Macedonian," he's supposed to step outside the lines and trample boundaries. When it comes to the prestige and dignity of the monarchy - and his own respectability as a general under that monarchy - he's quite conventional. Pride is _so_ relevant to him despite his declaration otherwise! Alexander, and Hephaestion especially, are the ones who really don't care for conventions. I think your line sums it all up: Whether Craterus would love Alexander if Alexander weren't king was an abstract idea, and therefore not worth thinking about. Hee! And not only does he have to resist Alexander's legendary charm; he finds Hephaestion's beauty distracting too? And the other commanders' remarks as they leave Alexander's tent! So Alexander's dream in "The Substitute" might not be so far from the truth after all!

Sidenote #1: It seems likely that Hephaestion heard what they said. On the one hand, I think he would've been chagrined that they didn't recognize his other qualities - but on the other, that's all the more reason for him to be "vain and haughty as an Athenian dandy!" Geez, who wouldn't be proud of corresponding with philosophers and being privy to Alexander's - the king's - trust!

Sidenote #2: I don't know why, among all the commanders expressing (in their own way) admiration for Hephaestion - which will always win points for a character, in my entirely biased view - my opinion of Leonnatus in particular suddenly just made a little leap. But all of the commanders, no matter if they only had one line, came through so vividly - and again, through the dialogue you give them as well as narration.

In addition to being a short but quite 3-D character study of Craterus, this is a hilarious cheer-up story! I'm glad you wrote it!

I love it ! Very very funny ! Well Done !

I do love your fics!and this one is so funny and sweet...at first I was sad for Phai but...silly me!

none could ever dismiss someone like him ;)...great!

VERY COOL

eh eh...**laughing** I find this episode of Alexander's life very funny and interesting...! Very embarassing for Hephaestion and Alexander to find all those men in the tent after making love...Beautiful!

I love this story - witty and amusing! Thanks again for this.

Great. Cannot wait to see something more. I must admit though, I no longer like Craterous. (totally spelled that wrong. lol. sorry)

Baliansword

"I'm really a strategist - tactician, something you're not!"

Really?. . .Well, Crateros, you cranky old coot. You’ve been given an opportunity to exhibit your strategic talents by planning a campaign to remove your boot from your mouth. You were cleverly outsmarted, indeed, soundly defeated by the “leftover toy” from Alexander’s childhood. Now who’s the laughing stock of the camp?

After reading this I had the same happy grin on my face that Hephaestion did coming out of the tent; revenge wasn’t simple honey cake – it was ambrosia!

Particularly like your characterization of Hephaestion. Probably a fair assessment of the man himself: proud, somewhat arrogant, keenly intuitive, hiding his brilliant mind behind what Judith Tarr calls his “tragedy mask”. One senses the wheels turning when he studies Crateros impassively for a long moment, then instantly “dissects” him and fabricates a scheme to get back at his oppressor. His plan works brilliantly!

Now! So many questions: was Alexander a party to the plan? Was Crateros’ servant? If so, what will Crateros do to the poor boy? Why did the guards allow the generals entry if Alexander didn’t want them to know Hephaestion was there? And was he “speaking unnecessarily loudly” to tell Hephaestion they were in the tent so that he wouldn’t come in, or to tell his lover “the game’s afoot?” Was Hephaestion’s verbal faux pas simply a bit of “stage fright”? And most important. . .did he have on anything under that fur? Oh! sorry, I assure you my curiosity is strictly literary! (Since I can’t pop down to Delphi at the moment, might there be an epilogue in the not-too-distant future. I hereby cast subtlety aside and beg shamelessly.)

At the conclusion of the story - more delicious ambrosia! Hephaestion, doubtless laughing, sprints away from Crateros with a final insult. Poor old Crateros. He should have paid less attention to Alexander’s sexual activities and more to the most important lesson of the Trojan War: “Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts”. Not all of them are made from wood.

Another tale to treasure!

Fredericka

Oh - WOW! For me? I feel so very honoured!

This couldn't have come at a better time. Truly lovely, from Hephaistion's monosyllabic answers, to the web of deceit that he wove around poor unsuspecting Crateros - well, the diplomat outdid the soldier. What a stroke of brilliance, tellin Crateros what he wanted to hear. Alexander's normal superstitious self taking it all so easy. And the officers' lewd conversation at the end. It must have been hard for poor Hephaistion...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart - this dedication means more than you can imagine!

I love it! I have read about this historical incident but i like your way, so, please keep writing! _