Great job in writing this up, and thanks. Hope that you keep up the good work. :P

-Sked-San-san. Short review because of the lack of sugar and/or caffeine in my body.

That was awsome =D I love it~!

Oh my gosh. This was WONDERFUL. As in full of wonder. You accomplished your desired writing style fabulously, and the details left me in a surreal daze. I'd really like to see this picture you wrote this for, or at the very least draw my own, which shows how powerful your descriptions were. I haven't ever been able to so clearly visualized a fic. That said, i made a point to give it my all after your author's note :D

The overall affect of the fic was vivid as well. The bittersweet, desperate mood was not at all spoiled by the gore, especially with how it was presented. I was left not only with a mental image, but a strong mental impression that was nonetheless very subtle. Hair-raising.

I wouldn't dare ask for more. This seems too content as a stand alone for more chapters or a sequel. All in all, the kind of fic that keeps me peering at the Jak'nDax fandom. Also the kind of fic that keeps me up at night. I'm gonna have WEIRD dreams...

I really like where your going with this story! would you pretty please write another chapter??

Man,I really want to read Snow Crash now. This is one of your better stories, by far. I love aftermath drama and irony.*opiatic-ish grin at pure awesomeness*
-Xahtonnoj

wow, i totally agree with eveything everyone else has said. i love how in-character Damas is. and wounded!Jak is love, i've decided.

and how i love sig.

two words, baby.

sequel, please.

Wow... such a beautiful story! The writing style is extremely unique. I have hardly seen any like this, but you pulled it off with such grace and fashion... I'm impressed! It flowed really well, but the ending makes me discontent. Did Jak die, or did Sig and Damas manage to save him? I hope they did, though I wouldn't weep if the Hero did die... He fought magnificently, as told in your format, plus he didn't suffer... such as it should be for a savior of the world.

What really suprised me though was that the whole cast stayed in-character! Normally (and this is just my opinion) when an author writes a tale with a different creative format, they have to sort of tweak the characters a bit in order to fit the plotline. But you managed to "spin a yarn" (as it is said) that is both entertaining and imaginative, yet still keep everyone as themselves, you know what I mean? This is an awesome story! Keep on writing! You are a talented writer!

OH MY GOD! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MORE!!

I need to find out. o.o

You're an excellent writer, very talented, and you know what talented writers do? THEY WRITE MORE CHAPTERS FOR THEIR AWSOME FANFICTIONS!! XD


So, yeah, you're fan:

Kitsuna. ^ ^

*sighs happily.* "How far that little candle throws its beams!" So shines a good fic in the Pit. ;)

I always felt that words, like guns, are democratic and neutral for all intents and purposes. They'll let anybody play with them, and they in themselves are neither good nor evil but can be turned to good or evil purposes.

This is a perfect example--I love it because it's gory, and yet the description is eloquent. Phrases like "capillary lace" just lend themselves to this particular awesomeness, but even the use of the word "spike" in regard to a bruise is excellent.

Kudos on the Daxspeak, too. Perfect! XD

The action taking place in the small scope of Damas's focus is a great way to start. I especially like the "diehard stars" sentence. And the dark eco ALWAYS moves like it's alive, love that.

And arguably my favorite part...everything is spelled correctly! There are no run-on sentences! I actually can understand what's going on! And no Suethings with names like "Tranquility Moonstars" or Polly Prissypants or whatever are swooping down on their magikul Suelike wings to piss me off!

Not that I'd have to worry about any of that in any of your fics. ;D

The Binary System lives to fight another day!

A mazillium thankyous, for this has kept me sane in my workday. I probably won't have to drink any paint thinner until at LEAST 4:30.

SIG! Sigh.. GREAT story, I really dislike how there aren't many Damas stories out there. Please write another. Thankz

I just that book, and it looks really neat! ^^ Some very good reviews for it, and the publisher notes make it sound very intrigueing...I'm nearly done with the book I'm reading now, so I'll see if I can find this at the library! :D "Only once in a great while does a writer come along who defies comparison—a writer so original he redefines the way we look at the world." THAT makes me wanna read it indeedy! (And you know they'll be saying the same exact thing about your writing one day, of COURSE! :D)

After reading your A/Ns...wow! I thought the challenge was to write in an author's style (I can read! :B really! just not...thoroughly... *cough* ) but you took on that all on yer own, that's so cool! ^_^

I agree with you on the whole word choice thing, some of those were amazingly accurate and originally abstract, like you said. :3 There's no other way to put it! Abstract but fitting, that's some really hard criteria to meet, but some of the lines in here just made me grin with the cleverness. The cleverness! :D (As a Jak!fan I almost feel spoiled, having this neat writing style all packaged up into a fanfic for my favorite game!) One thing that stands out is all the present tense instead of past tense during the whole thing, which isn't something often used, but gives the whole story a very...immediate feeling, I guess. ^^ More urgent, which worked WUNNERfully on all the tense scenes in here! (Uwah, Damas! ;^; ) Instead it being a recollection of things-that-have-passed, it's happening right! Now! 8D Seems like you found the best way to present this sort of little one-shot, kudos! ^^

As the the story itself...: ;_;! Oh man, you made Damas come to life way way way too much. I really was getting teary near the end there, with him suppressing all the memories of his son, and Jak so close to death and all...he would do that, too! Put aside his own feelings for the sake of his kingdom and all that, it's the sort of guy he is! I love that you focused on Damas in here - he's one of the characters I don't give enough love too, but he's so cool! Dx Lots of emotions even if he doesn't show it, just like his son. ;o;

Speaking of his son! Jeez, all those injuries made ME cringe! XD (In a good way!) Such detailed descriptions of all those injuries, especially with the muscle and the splitting skin on his back, ergh you make them sound so excruciatingly painful! (Once again, in a good way! xD) The description for all the little things were great too, like all the detail when it came to the green eco and med-pack? ^^ Those are the sort of thing that aren't given much thought (at least by me) when I'm playing, but you make every little aspect of the game come alive! So awesome!

Loved the one-shot! ^__^ Loved the story style, I'm sure the author would be most impressed (especially if he happened to be a Jak fan and could appreciate all the details :D)!

Keep writin'!
~Mandy

You still amaze me with your talents. I am so impressed with your writing ability, and your ability to make characters come to life. Are you going to continue on with the story, or does it end there with Jak on the brink of death leaving the readers to wonder? I also would like to see the drawing that you are writing the fic for. I want to see how you interpreted the drawing. Again, great job with the fic!

Another disgustingly moving and brilliant piece. I actually released a couple of tears towards the end, there.

"Life's screwed up, know? Never saw my dad. 'nd you ne'r saw son. Sometimes… I r'ly hate th' future."

This entire thing was just too long in the making and I wish it'd continue because the absolute encompassing of the post Jak II world is there and true to the gritty horrors of outcast life and struggles to let go. Especially since Naughty Dog disappointed with Jak X. More pieces of this and your style cannot come soon enough or too close together.

Bestow us with more!

Wow. I think I know the challenge this is for... wow. Nice style, although the present tense kind of made it hard to read. I absolutely loved this- really, the complicated way of saying it all is just... you pull that off really well, and definitely the "hardly changes briefs must change train of thought stat" thing! So funny!
Pretty good... was kind of scary and a little dramatic, y'know... but it was funny, too. Really funny.
~Amber
PS: changed my penname back!

Yay! Tis so good to see something new from you now and again ^^

Very nice oneshot, that's for sure ^^ I seem to have a soft spot for Damas and Jak fics, even if I've only seen bits of the game. Father--Son relationships always make me all squee XD You also have a knack for making something as abstract as killing Metal Heads and losing most your health so much more intense. ^^ Damn, you're so cool XD

I would be interested to see the picture that spawned this glorious story tho...