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| Mei1105 2006-02-27 ch 2,  | abuseanother bge fic? sweet! update soon! :) |
| Fox The Cave II 2006-02-27 ch 2, | abuseHm, well...things are just much too brief to be effective. It sounds like you're really rushing things, the characters barely have any depth and are just being pulled along the story. I know there's not much of it yet and it may get better, but right now you need to focus on putting MUCH more description in and actually explaining events, with emotion and respect to the environment. Good luck on future chapters! Fox The Cave (II) PS: The fic of mine that is up here was written over a year ago, I am now much better than that standard that I was before! |