Woah. That was intense. And awesome. Intawesome.

SO CONFUSING!

Crap, that was one of the saddest things I've ever read. Damn you. I like it. (:

It was really confusing but I really like it!

it's kind of confusing, but i like it!

YETI! I totally love this! *is ashamed for not having read it until now*

I agree with Dimbledeb about how it should have made no sense whatsoever, but it did and it flowed really well. The writing style was just beautiful.

I found some nice typos, which excuses me from finding anything Actually Wrong with it.

"Or join the mud-wresting circuits or something" - Did you mean "mud wrestling?"
"They way you act" - Should be "The" not "They."

Amazed at your utter brilliance,
FH

*narrows eyes in the hope that this will make her smart enough to understand that* that was glorious. very confusing. but I shall read it 600 more times and THEN maybe I will START to comprehend. hehe, Holly and Juliet, our two girlies... *wanders off in a haze of stupidity and foolishness*

I love this... it's like theme and variations, except cooler. It's surprisingly easy to follow, and the transitions between the different scenes were very smooth. It's like, it *should* be hopelessly confusing, but it's not. It's a very complex story that's simple to understand. I dunno. Something like that.

No real criticism. Everyone was beautifully in character, the writing was very elegant and bare... all quite nice. Excellent work!