"He was such a child laying sprawled out like that, fiery head a puddle on the dark brown of the wood."

--wonderful imagery. I love this little line.

Love how the previous Chosen's Chanter ended up together, and had Zelos. (Aww! Pretty Red Head Woman-Man is all in love and what not!)

"It was as she were back at the Tower of Salvation again but this time…there was no hatred from the Chosen…only an eternal calmness radiated from his still form."

--I like the imagery and emotions attached to this statement.

"And in the flames…Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire …”"

-I had "Desert Rose" playing in the background as I read this story, and it brought a deeper flavor and involvement to the story, that made it very engaging. Very pretty song.

"Sheena’s heart skipped a beat. Luckily, her voice didn’t. "

-I really like this line-no particular reason, it was just a bit of sweetness.

"Sheena slowly laced her chant with the fade of the instrument. It slowed to a whisper of the gust it had once been…and ended with a bell’s chime."

-I can see this image in my mind. Very pretty-I just love the intricate, and varying-yet beautiful descriptions you use.

"“So, it wasn’t that bad, huh?” a soft voice brush her ear.

Sheena smiled. “I guess not.” She looked to her partner. The idiot was waving enthusiastically to the audience. The summoner took in features she never had before. The way his hair bounced against his cheek and the way his eyes lit up at any form of attention. Why hadn’t she noticed this before?"


-Again, I can see this little scene clearly in my head-it is adorable. I love these types of moments, of quick, quiet reflection on the countenance of the one you love.


"The raven-haired woman stood in a daze for a moment. He says that to anything in a skirt, she reasoned. Still, a warm feeling persisted in her chest. She smiled softly to herself. Baka Chosen…"



-And THAT is the reason why Pretty Red Head Woman-Man is able to keep a herd of Hunnies without being eaten alive; he makes them feel all special and acts all sweet, and then runs like hell. (Feed the angry Hunny, and run before she remembers what it was she was angry about)


Very sweet little ficlet. I loved the descriptions, and the music playing with it really fit the mood and imagery of the story, I think.


*Sniff* I want Pretty Red Head Woman-Man now!


Sorry for taking over a month to get to reading this. It was extremly sweet *Ow! Toothache*- >.~

...too good you need to write a sequel

it was awesome. Next time though, and i dont want to put you down or anything, you could put a little more sheelos. that was all it needed. other then that it was really funny and cool. i'd like to see more from you

I gave you fanart...I want my cookies! I expect to see them on Monday! Chocolate Chip.

I already told you how much I like this fic. I told you how much you've got those two in character. What else am I supposed to say?

yeah that's an orchestra in the background. More drum than anything. In the beginning its that stupid synthesizer (however its spelled). I was so sure it would be a cello in the background too...dissapointment abounds for me. Imagining your fic makes it better though.

I have heard the song before! I knew I had at one point in time!

Talk to you later.

:-)

Well, unless you want them to look like bipedal Ninetales you probably wouldn't want any fan art from me :P

Anyway, this was just such a lovely fic. ^_^ I hav ethe song and it just went so seemlessly with the scenes. You did a great job describing the scene. I know, sometimes it can be really hard, but you still did very well I think. Not only that but Sheena and Zelos were very in-character. it was just to imagine them doing and saying everything here ^_^. Lovely story!

That was so cool! You captured both Sheena's and Zelos' characters really well. I enjoy stories like this very much. Will you please write more Sheelos stuff? Pretty please?

Bad me- I read this one-shot without hearing the song. Too bad I don't have the song... which really sucks. But oh well, with the lyrics written, I can kind of hear it... sort of.

Anyway, not to worry. It is extremely hard to write what you see in a mental image down on paper. Believe me, I tried it numerous times and can only succeed for like one paragraph and then the rest were not the same. It is a problem that all of us writers must overcome soon or later. I just prefer to improve my skills before I gain that skill of writing exactly how I see it. But overall, I thought you did well. Not too bad, I thought you chose the words nicely.

The beginning parts made me smile. I don't know but when the King said about a chanter... I immediately thought- if I was Zelos, I would look over and choose Sheena... and guess what? Your Zelos did exactly what I thought! Excellent! ^_^ This idea was really original.

Throughout the one-shot, I thought you captured Zelos extremely well. He spoke words exactly how he did in the game. It is incredible to read a character who sounds extremely IC! ^_~ Oh, and Sheena too. It's nice to read that fun, playful side of Zelos... I prefer the darker one but eh...

The ending and title was brilliantly chosen. I love that title. I love titles like that. I have this thing for titles if you can't tell. The ending kept Sheena and Zelos IC. I would have complained if they were to kiss or something because that is one of those things Sheena and Zelos doesn't share unless they really get to know each other. I like how you made them be as they are, even until the end. It would be nice if they hugged or something though. ^_~ I love hugs.

Again, nice work and hope you write more Sheelos fics! I find this one really enjoyable to read! Keep it up!

Oh! This was SO CUTE! I would totally draw fan art...but all you would get would be stick figures...^^' I shall also try to get to listen to the song as well ^^