I like how you kept switching the pronouns to indicate the gender confusion around certain characters.

There's actually a canon explanation for y your premise for this story. The magic of the locking ladle is infused into all the springs. Maybe it is located in jusendo and all the waters spill into the ladle before distributing to the various streams.

this is a great fic pity that it has not been updated in a while

In all honesty I really like this story, normally I am not super fond of ranma chan stories but this is pretty kickass, I like all of your stories I just hope that you finish this along with Gajin and the others.

awwwwww wish it didnt end, great story!

Good Story

A truely... strange adaptation of Ranma... and from some one who enjoys the stuff i do that's saying somthing. Not a bad story though. Hope to see more on Kyuubed soon if you can manage it.

More please! I love what's going on with Akane. Yay for a demon girl! ;P Also, nice touch with Talcum and Ranma. *whistles appreciatively*

"So Miss Saotome tell us about yourself."

"No."

[Missing comma after ‘Saotome’, but otherwise funny]

entering everyone had

[Missing comma after ‘entering’]

"Who Was that?"

[Capitalization]

my friend." said

[Should end with comma instead of period to transition to speech tag]

the girl she did not say it with emotion,

[Wouldn’t ‘said without emotion’ be better?]

tearing the tight and restrictive binding on her breast,

[Why when Ranma’s easily capable of pounding Kuno right then and there with a well-placed punch or kick?]

The girl looked at the pig as the animal glared at Kuno angrily nursing its side.

[Kuno was wounded?]

practice that style that

[Missing comma after ‘style’]

after a few bocks.

[blocks?]

again; She had not

[Capitalization]

learn the any thing goes style?"

[Anything Goes, there’s a big difference]

"Hello young lady are

[Missing comma after ‘lady’]

living with; Desperate

[The narrative indicates a period should terminate after ‘with’]

they had returned to the living room and sat around the table again as Soun made his proposition.

[This would’ve been nice to know before the proposition]

Soun saw this and sweat.

[You mean Ranma? And ‘sweats’?]

Chapter 2

"Its called Gaijin café,"

[‘it’s’, and that title would be like saying ‘uncooked filth restaurant’. Yes, ‘gaijin’ can refer to non-ethnic-Japanese, but it also has a lot of negative connotational baggage]

she started to run

[Capitalization]

her; She moved

[Superfluous capitalization]

breaking his collar bone

[I know Ranma’s embittered, but hasn’t it always been his character to pull his punches with people weaker than him?]

but no deathblows could be seen

[That won’t help when the ambulance arrives to call the police and haul Ranma away for being a public menace]

yet Akane could not bring herself to be afraid or angry.

[Just horrified]

"Akane she didn't

[Missing comma after ‘Akane’ (otherwise the ‘she’ is Akane instead of Ranma)]

More than half the schools male population was absent

[That seems rather excessive, moreso for a serious story like this]

its not punctured?"

[it’s]

"I knew it she

[Missing comma after ‘it’]

Chapter 3

"That's good advice." Akane couldn't tell

[The speech tag seems to imply that this response to Akane’s mutter is spoken by Akane (because there’s nothing mentioning Saotome, with only the back-and-forth pattern indicating it’s him speaking)]

said her sister with a happy look on her face.

[It’s interesting, but also interrupting her sleep. Wasn’t Nabiki virtually the opposite of a morning person?]

Chapter 4

your still a good

[you’re]

She hobbledo ver

[hobbled over]

" open up please

[Capitalization and extra space]

with a tired and painful expression

[I’ve seen the effect before and you hold it up well here, though shouldn’t it say ‘pained’ here?]

Accept for a small

[Except]

to be one anyway; It

[Should terminate in a period]

Chapter 5

"Shampoo promise you'll

[Missing comma after ‘Shampoo’]

"That wasn't near as hard as she used to hit...I think I'm wearing her down!"

[Points 1]

walked out angrily chasing

[Missing comma after either ‘out’ or ‘angrily’, I’m not sure]

Ranma dodged and did a hooking crescent kick at the young Amazons head, Shampoo blocked and slashed Ranma across the stomach ripping a long gash across it and tearing her shirt.

[Ouch]

sign that said. "Son

[Commas should follow ‘said’ ‘son’]

I'm so glad your

[you’re]

his presence or tried

[nor]

"You're going soft boy," said Genma's sign.

"Kindness is not a weakness,"

[Not strictly]

the grill completely

[Missing comma after ‘grill’]

pulled out a nasty looking sword

[Sure it’s concise, but it’s not descriptive. I know not everybody would know what a niuweidao is, but at least something along the lines of ‘broadsword’]

"No!" screamed Ranma

[I don’t buy Ranma decrying Shampoo dying with circumstances like this. I’m disappointed at turning Shampoo from a character into a brief plot device but I suppose it works well enough]

Exhausted the sorceress

[Missing comma after ‘exhausted]

"Its over...she

[It’s]

Chapter 6

suffer for Ranma Saotome

[Missing comma after ‘for’, I think]

"I had no Idea

[idea]

had no Idea the scars

[idea]

Those who though she might

[thought]

Why, It's is you of

[it’s]

"What did you do to him?"

"Simple, he can no longer see or hear any lie, not even the ones he creates himself.

[Definitely dark]

Ranma stop it your scaring me

[Missing commas after ‘Ranma’ ‘it’, and ‘you’re’]

isn't it Akane,

[Even if it’s facetious, a question still requires its mark]

Its not my

[It’s]

He looked at a newspaper, about half its pages were blank.

[More than that, I’d think]

let your guard down he

[Missing comma after ‘down’]

Chapter 7

I am now Shampoo

[Missing comma after ‘now’]

Its obvious he still

[It’s]

"Sister Talcum you

[Missing comma after ‘Talcum’]

to help him up freezing

[Missing comma after ‘up’]

said Kuno bitterly. "You weren't

[Don’t Source Mix: when you break to a different character’s dialog, break to a different paragraph]

quiet for far to long

[too]

this is resolved, replied

[Missing closing dialog markers]

shows up now He's dead!"

[now, he’s]

you Ranma how can

[Missing comma after ‘Ranma’]

"Kuno you don't

[Missing comma after ‘Kuno’]

Ranma it looks like

[Missing comma after ‘Ranma’]

his bokuten drawn pieces of

[Missing comma after ‘drawn’]

"Kuno back off

[Missing comma after ‘Kuno’ ‘off’]

"I had no choice she had

[Missing comma after ‘choice’]

Kuno looked at

[Source Mixing]

Chapter 8

"Saotome are you

[Missing comma after ‘Saotome’]

and pet him causing

[Missing comma after ‘him’]

"To challenge Kuno with the sword is to surrender before you begin!"

[Maybe fail or be defeated, but ‘surrender’ doesn’t quite seem to fit]

and scars appeared on his body

[‘open wounds’, not scars, unless Mousse gained mystical healing capabilities]

the ten food wide wings

[foot]

pressing matters to attend"

[Missing comma after ‘attend’]

stopped cold Nabiki

[Missing comma after ‘cold’]

Chapter 9

Ranma looked back at her and sighed. "Hey, Ranma what's up?" asked Yuka.

[This is what I call Source Mixing. It’s bad writing and grammar, avoid doing so – at least when dialog is concerned]

Kuno, Its just

[it’s]

well then you accept

[Missing comma after ‘then’]

said Kuno as he gave a rough snort

[Wouldn’t the snort be before he speaks, not during? That would sound odd]

look ridiculous who

[Missing period after ‘ridiculous’]

rush him he swung

[Missing comma after ‘him’]

he was now Ranma

[Missing comma after ‘now’]

another of the kendoist strikes

[kendoist’s]

ground The pair

[Missing period]

love is fates favorite toy and she doesn't like sharing.

[fate’s or Fate’s, but otherwise the sentiment seems fitting if odd coming from a clear loner like this Ranma]

way your expecting

[you’re]

book your getting

[you’re]

You lucky this

[you’re]

Chapter 10

that book is one of the most evil things on this planet

[I know the attempt is to be serious, but that phrase has been so overused it’s comical instead. Not exactly in a good working sense]

"I'm taking it off your hands, I want this store gone by tomorrow and I never want to see you in business ever again. If I do I take this straight up to the top," sneered Ranma

[Things have been stretching, but I think this pretty well qualifies a Mary Sue indicator]

I think the emotional expression of Ranma is being rather flat (a large part has been that you won’t give us a window directly into the character, at best it’s what other characters see/think of him), and I also think that he’s been given too much ‘magic power’. As adaptive as he might be, canon pointed to him being inept at all of that. This could be filed under suspense of disbelief if it wasn’t for the fact that he’d been studying magic for barely a year, he’s using stuff that – assumedly – more practiced and powerful casters would have to study for years to get. I know he’s adaptable, but he’s not omniscient. Implying that he’s got connections at the top of any political chain is also implausible: he’s too good at ticking people off.

Still, it could've been a good story. Too bad it seems to have been abandoned before its completion.

this story is good, I hope you pick it back up.

Totally awesome! I like Mage Ranma quite well. Cupcakes for you!

the first chapter may seem bland but this an great story. in fact its on my favorites list.

I think this is the only locked fic I have ever liked.

Good story ! A little bit sad that Ranma and Akane don't get together, still, first time i read a story with sailor senshi inside !

TBC ?

Good story, unique, and I'll be sorry to see it go. The only thing I didn't like about it, was a fault I've found in a lot of your stories, though this one wasn't nearly as bad. Mainly you move things along too quickly, if you slow the flow down a bit I think you could probably improve the potential of your stories, otherwise the reader, or at least I, end up feeling rushed with the speed at which critical and life changing events fly by.

that was one of the most scaryest and horrible stories i have ever read you should write this storys category as horror since its a horror story.