This was great, I totally loved it. Some of the parts were totally hilarious, anything with Lucivar usually makes me laugh incontrollably.

Hey Nara!

I'm not sure whether you still want reviews for this story, since it's abandoned, but if you do, then I'd like to say I quite enjoyed this.

I really liked how your characters each have a distinctive personality, and how each couple - Karla/Morton, Gabrielle/Chaosti and Kalush/Aaron - relate to their partner very differently - it makes for an interesting read!

I found some modernisms you added quite jarring, though.
Things like '0100 hours''operation revenge' - they don't seem to fit in Bishop's world. I know that she's put fairly modern concepts into her world, like mud masks, but I'm pretty sure this world doesn't have watches, electricity or a police force. The concept of time seems a bit more relaxed than what 'at 0100...at 0200...at 0230' implies, and I'm pretty sure that all characters in the novel use 12-hour not 24-hour time. Same thing with 'operation -' - they fight with Craft, swords and bows, and I don't know, I always associate 'operation - ' with a modern, gun-toting police/military unit.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while I think you were trying to create humour by a peusdo-militaristic feel, as a reader I can tell you it didn't work, simply because it doesn't seem to fit in with the universe of the Jewels.

All in all, though, I quite enjoyed this! Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Feel free to email me about this if you want to talk more about it.

~Eagleseye (from fictionpress)

Rather Dark, but deffinately still and Awesome chapter!
Chan't wait for the next one hun!
*Love'n'Hugs*

Oh. I love that last line. It fits in so well, and . . . it's like it has echoes.

Anyway. Huzzah for updatedness! Karla's memory is great - you've kept her really in character. I can't wait until her and Jaenelle reach Little Terreille xD

Have only just caught up on this story. I really like it and hope that you update soon. There is so much scope for Heir fics as there is so much time covered and so little written about it. I think that this story is nicely written and look forward to reading more.

Huzzah for the update xD Oh, I loved Morghann's rant. And Kaelas dissing Aaron and Khary. And Khary's loss of the dare . . . As you may have guessed, I loved a lot of things.

What I really like though, is the way you keep flashing back to how they all met Jaenelle, because it's never dealt with otherwise. Also how you tied in her meeting with Aaron and Sabrina with the accident mentioned by Anne Bishop - the one where she was given that sapphire. Makes sense, because they're a rich family. What I really want to see next is how she met Karla and Morton, because unlike the others, they were living in a partially tainted Territory.

Your plans sound good. I don't suppose there'd ever be an occasion where one or all of them decided that Jaenelle had been missing out on their holiday for long enough, so that it was time for them to go and retrieve her?

Anyway, hope you update soon xD

like the new ending, and I shall definitely charge my prodding stick! I look forward to 12!

YAY! I like that your back. writter's block sucks.. I'm having a major case of that with my story right now too!
It was a really good chapter! I Loved how Morghann was yelling at the guys when Aaron faked the scream! :P Hehe.. and then she pretended like it was a dream :P :P
*Love'n'Hugs*

I really enjoyed your stories. I look forward to more.

That was great. I love the coven-boyo's interaction, and the way you've brought Ladvarian and Kaelas in. And of course, the invention of Gravediggers. Pure genius, that.

Great chapter! I love it, and all the ones leading up to it! Cant wait for more!

Aw. Cuite Kaelas!

Very nice. The humorous parts continue to be good, not boring in the least, but the more serious part was a nice change too, and it's touching. It's a mark of your versatility as a writer that you can do both serious and humorous so well, and your characterization is spot on as ever.

I'd been wondering if Kaelas was going to show up sometime soon.

I do like the way you ended the chapter, although something about seems just slightly awkwardly written.

Favorite lines:
.:Brother Yas! Brother Yas!:. came Ladvarian’s excited mental voice as Lucivar resisted the urge to put his hands to his temples; he could feel a headache coming on. He’d ended up instructing Ladvarian to call him “Yas” after the stumbling blocks of “Lu’var” and “Sihvar”. - This amuses me because my best friend and I have gotten into the habit of calling Lucivar "Luvar" when we talk about BJT at school to avoid any misunderstanding from people who might happen to overhear.

Said Eyrien returned to the cottage to find Gabrielle and Morghann cooing over what looked like a water-logged fluffy toy in their wash basin.
A water-logged fluffy toy that growled. - Lol. Wonderful imagery.

I love the chapter hun! It's really good!
Interesting way to introduce Kaelas. I like very much. :)
*Love'n'Hugs*

Like the new ending! Very nice combination of cute and understanding and parallels...