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| mcc1089 2006-03-04 ch 1,  | abuseumm... ok I really hate to do this to people: about your story... to me in my writer's opinion... I didn't really get it. really all I got from it was that Jubes had a family and couldn't take care of Logan all the time. If that isn't the main key plot, then i'm sorry, but if it had more detail into what Logan was sad about Jubilee, because... then it would make sense. For me as a music major and literature Arts minor, I don't make good stories. "just like Xmen Shards of Destiny" but i noticed what People needed to know in it and I'm trying to fix it. Writing takes intence thought. I'm not saying you didn't on this story, just that the plot sometimes dosn't appeal to others as it does with you or the ones that knew about it in the first place. it's a good story, but my advice is, try to make the plot known so that third and fourth graders could figure it out. Most Americans only have about a 7th or 8th grade reading level, but they really can only figure out 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade levels. Continue with your writing carrer and take my advice as applies. Marcus |
| giveGodtheglory 2006-03-03 ch 3, | abuseAs I've said before, your insight into the working of your character's minds, and your ability to show it to others, is phenominal. I added this to my favorites. God bless! g |