 BlueTulip 11/6/06 . chapter 1Pretty funny...I agree with BeautifulSilverSilence, sounds like how a drunk!Maes and drunk!Roy would sound. I liked Hughes pouring the vodka and almost missing the glass entirely. XD And I like that you have this part:
"'But, Roy. If something happens to me, you’ll look after them, right?'
'Don’t be stupid. You’re the one taking care of me, right?'"
Good bit of dramatic irony.
One little error: “_That’s it_, if Hawkeye lets me, Colonel.” I think it should be "That is." Though, seeing as they're drunk, it might not be an error at at all.
Nice job! |