You need to make it easier to see when you have changed scenes or a period of time has passed. It's really hard to follow.

Also, I find it hard to belive Sam was able to be that active and efficient with a broken arm and fractured ribs at least.

Before that you said her ribs were broken, later they were fractured. I know the first time was more Sam's thoughts but it makes it hard to follow and harder to belive in her capability to move.

An okay effort. I think your stories could improve alot. Keep on writing, I think you will do well.

cool story, any more?

I enjoyed it. Will this continue?

good story!

This was really good. One thing to make it easier to read would be to indicate a change in scene. Sometimes I was half way through a line before I realized I was in a new scene.

Can't wait for more,

Katie

This was good! I never liked Ba'al! I do not think anybody does! Good Job!