Poor Tommy.

Oh well... I actually had him killed and eaten by Diaz's insane ghost in one of MY fics.

Lol.

WHAT?! How could you end it like that!! It's so depressing! However, I must admit, a very enjoyable read. Great job getting into the mind of one of the greatest game characters ever created. Keep it up.

Nicely done chapter!! Your writting style (and descriptions) were absolutely phenomenal!! Such a tragic ending though for the dude, who I'm assuming is none other than Mr. Tommy Vercetti? Anyway, keep up the AWESOMENESS!! ^_^ (Is this just a "one-shot" story or will there be more chapters?)

I really enjoyed that - almost as much as I enjoyed LMK's review. :D

He's right when he said 'I think it seemed really out of character for your writing style, or something, which is good.'

That's right, i'm quoting from a comment. How many people do that? Not many i'd wager.

The point is, yes, I agree with that statement. From what i've read of your writing your general style, in my opinion atleast, has been alot more in the 3rd person perspective. You allow the reader to make their own descisions on what the character could be thinking or feeling about the situations you create for them.

Don't get me wrong, if it's not done correctly it can come out stodgy or stale, or it can alternatively bring a story to life. Especially if your writing style is slightly abstract. But you've proved it doesn't have to be abstract to be ingaging.

In this short story it's more introspective -

'What had it been? Minutes? Seconds? He couldn’t tell and he didn’t care.'

One example of many. We know a little more about what he's thinking with each moment that goes by. I like this change of pace from you. I enjoy your writing anyway, I think that's already clear, but this more personal style suits you really well.

I hope you write more fiction in this way, it trims
away anything that slows the pace down, letting the reader concentrate on what the main focus of the story is and allowing the plot and characteristics of our 'hero' to shine through.
Letting the hero's surroundings become secondary and writing all dialogue in such a way that it somehow comes full circle back on to the hero himself is the key to involoved storytelling. Like without this one guy as the ultimate focus of the story the whole peice of writing would just fall apart.
We need to understand and come to know the guy for the story to matter.
We can root for him if we empathise with him. We care about what happens. Makes sense, yeah? I haven't read this back...

This was sharp, I loved how you fit the scenario into the amount of words you gave yourself. I could completely picture this in my head. Something else i've come to discover when reading your stories. You and Kris are both able to put something down very astutely. Even though your writing styles are different. This is no exception.

I like how you finished this off. The title becomes the final thought of our hero. It's nice, makes it feel rounded. See?

On another note:

'Slipping the last shimmering button into the slit on the opposite end of his black shirt, he brushed it down, admiring himself in the mirror; the matching shirt and trousers, the polished shoes, the well-toned body, the defining facial features, the slicked hair, the faint moustache and the devilishly handsome chin stubble. He grinned; he might’ve been forty, but he still considered himself a ladies’ man.'

- immediately made me think of Peter Stormare. Probably not the image you were intending to install. I think i've seen 'Fargo' one too many times...

Thanks for the read, I really enjoyed it.

I apologise for all spelling mistakes in advance. Kris.

And to Phoenix Master ofcorse. :)

Me likey. Good title, I like how it fits in with the fic. It's in some way gratifying to notive the direct link between the title or chapter title and the story itself.

Well described as always - slow and precise, clearly shows the task to be routine for your character. I especially love the part which now spoils the fic for anyone who hasn't read it.

"He stood at the top of the stairs for another few seconds before he began to make his way down. There was only one problem with this.

He didn’t."

Brilliantly unexpected, caught me by surprise, even witht he "problem" part leading into it. I think it seemed really out of character for your writing style, or something, which is good. And the description of the bullet was fantastic - like all your other creative metaphors.

Hey, you should write for Max Payne. ;)

How's that for a review, eh? I just wanna be like sireniris!

note: in my attempt to emulate siren, I took the liberty of NOT spell checking this review. Have fun.