lorne's first name is Evan not Marcus. but good story so far.

This is really good! I can't wait until the next chap.

Awesome.

Ditto on the Marine point. Marines are not a division of the Air Force, they're a separate thing.

Either way, puking in front of SG! would not be very fun. Heheh.

Yay for Lorne fics..

but as an avid lorne lover i've got to point out that he's Airforce not a Marine...

The rabid Lorne fans over at Gateworld assigned Lorne the name Marcus some time ago. I'm not a huge Lorne fan, but I agree that it fits him and I use it in all my fanfics.

The only real critique I have concerning this fic is the overuse of "be" verbs like Am, Is, Are, Was, and Were. It's not to say your writing is bad, but I think if you challenged yourself to write a sentence without using "be" verbs, you'll find the sentences become a little more dynamic and active. Take, for instance, the sentence:

"And the thing about bad news was it always seemed to (be) correct."

It's not a bad sentence, but it sounds a little wordy. By changing or rewording it, you could say:

Bad news, however, always proved true.

Again, I'm not saying your writing is bad, but I think this could help you to improve.

And don't let anyone bash you because of the way you spell! Technically speaking, the British way is the correct way. It's we Americans who screw the language up for the rest of the world.

Well... Americans and Trekkies. Seriously. "To Boldy Go" is so totally a split infinitive.

Anyway, sorry for this sorta longwinded reply I'm in my second year of university and I'm majoring in English... I get a little carried away sometimes.

Very well written, touching and sweet, characterization, dialog and descriptive are all very well done. Especially the characterization.

Loved how well you intergrated the dialog from the actually episode, it flowed very smoothly.

Looking forward to more, thanks for sharing.