Poor Remus.

Ah very very good story, and well written too. Poor poor Remus. But I can wholy understand why he does this for the Order and for Tonks. He's such a sweetheart really! Keep writing great stories like this :3

I read your story and the reviews you received for it and I must say I am rather shocked. It is well written, I'll give you that, but there are a few plot holes that made me want to rip my hair out.

You start out with Greyback, which is fine, and it's good. You trail over to Lupin and Greyback which, again, is good. In that Lupin-and-Greyback section you wrote this sentence: “I’m sure it was thrilling,” Lupin replied, his own hands dispassionately wrapping around Fenrir’s back. “How about you come into the den and tell me all about it.”

I don't know what you were trying to portray here but to me, the reader, it appears Lupin is flirting with him and giving an innuendo to stimulate sex(now your argument to that might be the adjective you used; dispassionately. Well people can want sex but no passion. What seemed was going on). Now that would have been fine except for later on you wrote this: Remus curled up into a naked ball beside Fenrir, crying quietly.


The last time I looked people cry when they’re very happy, very sad, or hurt. I would have assumed that with his being flirtatious earlier these were tears of joy. He had got what he wanted. However later that paragraph you wrote this: It was impossible to imagine how much more of this he would have to take just to collect information for the Order. Actually, the real question was: How much would he be able to take?

This lead me to believe that he did not enjoy the sexual activity what so ever. Which would have been fine if you didn’t make Remus utter that little innuendo in the beginning. People don’t flirt unless they want the attention and Remus flirted. So seeming as how he didn’t want the contact I can’t see why he would do that.

The other thing that threw me off when reading this was when you brought Tonks into the picture. I was thinking: Where the hell did she come from? The whole story had nothing to do with Tonks then in the last sentence or two you make her a plot point for Remus’ behavior. I’m sorry but that’s just bad writing right there. Besides he said that he was doing to gain information for the order, not for Tonks. Those are your words, not mine.

I don’t review stories unless they’re incredibly good or fiendishly terrible. Your story is neither. I’m telling you these things because I think you have the potential to write a decent fanfiction that makes sense. This one is obviously a failure but you could easily write a better one. I have faith in you.

D'aw! Harry!

I loved that. Really. Fenrir...rawr.

Aww, that was sad, but i loved it! Very well done.

To be honest, I don't particularly like the Remus/Tonks pairing (I have always been a through and through Sirius/Remus shipper) but your summary intrigued me. This is wonderful. The way it is written is dark and sad and makes you practically feel what Remus is going through.

And, again, even though I don't really care for Remus/Tonks, the last few lines were so full of love that it was breathtakingly beautiful.

Awesome work. I'm glad I read this.

*nasty images* but so amzaingly well written..you manage to capture all the dark stuff really well... this is so believable and stuff...especially since you have to imagine and make up so much how a werewolf may think and act..just soo good,

I love this story, but im also shocked there aren't more like it on this site, oh well. Anyways I hope you write more stories about these two characters in the future ^_^ ... 10/10

That was horrible... NO, not your story, the idea and what you made out of it. I never though this could have happend but you described perfectly fine how Remus feels and the last lines were just beautiful!