I just read your entire story straight through... (Well, almost straight through... I started it last night and wound up leaving about four chapters to read today, since I was about to fall asleep and start drooling all over my new laptop...) And I just wanted to say that I LOVE IT. Absolutely love it. I don't think anything has every made me quite as happy as seeing this many MarySues killed off at once. :)

Anywho, here's my nanny application, if you haven't already filled the position...

What is your name? Mistress Infinity (or Infinity, or just Fin)

Where are you from? In the real world? Umm... The U.S. What would I rather tell everyone? Probably Minas Tirith or Rohan.

Age, gender, hair colour, general appearance. Well, just turned 20... Female... Brown curly hair, brown eyes, just a smidge on the chubby side, skin just pale enough to make it clear I don't tan (at least, not until after I get a terrible sunburn)...

What are your views on MarySues, GaryStus, and the like? I'll tolerate them if I have to, but I would much rather they didn't exist.

What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron? Seems like a pretty cool guy... Don't know that I would have the guts to interact with him, personally, but I would like to meet him.

What do you think of Neena Sueling? She's adorable! I love her!

How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you? Reward system! When she behaves and does as she's told, she gets a sticker. Every X number of stickers she earns, she gets a special treat. Also, turn everything into a game. Kids like games.

How would you discipline Neena Sueling? If she doesn't behave, she gets a time-out. If she still won't behave or tries to resist time-out, she loses stickers. If she still won't behave after that, I'll just have to go find Koss or Sauron and execute slightly more severe disciplinary action.

Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving? Yeah... Ideally, though, she wouldn't misbehave. That's kind of the point of a nanny. If the nanny's methods fail to improve the child's behavior, it's the nanny's fault.

Do you like pets? Some, yes... Not a big fan of fish, they're kind of pointless.

Do you like spiders? They're alright, as long as they don't crawl on me... If they do, I smash them.

Do you like Wargs? As long as they're not trying to eat me, sure.

Have you heard of Muffin, and if yes, what are your views on… It? He... Erm... It... Is certainly interesting... I suppose I would have to see how I get along with it.

Do you have any combat skills? Not other than yelling really loud, pulling hair, and some fake pro-wrestling moves...

Alright. Let’s try a little word association test, shall we?

Men. Women.

Elves. Dwarves.

Dwarves. Beards.

Valar. Ravarastwinkletoecutiepie.

Butterfly. Tattoo.

Leggy. Arm-y?

Sauron. Master of all that is evil.

Minas Tirith. City that looks like a birthday cake.

This chapter was really great, I can't wait to see what happens next with the gary-stu and with Koss' unfortunate affliction. Please update soon!

hee hee... that ending is a major cliffie. EVIL... Can't wait to see what happens next! don't let Koss turn into a Suee... that would be really disturbing... *winces*

Woah, this is hilarious! Loved it, update soon!

As for the Alice Cullen thing, VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE! Sorry I just had to get that out.

Yes... although the wait was very long, it was made up for by this very interesting chapter. I look forward to the next one.

This looks...ineresting. I'm glad you started using Nazgul No. 8 again, I had wondered if you'd forgotten about her :(
I have no doubt Sauron will regein supreme over this so-called 'Evilman'-- his evilness cannot compare the EVILNESS of Sauron and Neena combained! It would be great father-daughter bonding for them :)

If Muffin ever has any sort of offspring, please let me know XD I love how you protray the Ring, and the sport of Sod hunting looks very apeasing!

ITS FINALLY OVER! MY JOY KNOWS NO BOUNDRIES! *worships*
I love Koss. Perfect OC (obviously noy a MarySue)
I missed Sauron's EVILNESS, that was my favorite part. Hopefully, now things shall be restored to their prper EVILNESS! XD

Normally I don't go for comdey-fics, but I couldn't resist this one. Everytime I thought about clicking back, Koss kept dragging me back, threatning me with unspeakable things XD

All I can say is: DOWN WITH THE MARY-SUES!

What is your name? Jo, short for Joanna.
Where are you from? England, and a particularly nondescript and boring part of it too.
Age, gender, hair colour, general appearance. Almost 18, but I suppose Sauron doesn't care about child labour anyway. I'm a girl, I've got brown hair and green eyes, and I'm really quite short. And apparently I look Irish in some way.
What are your views on MarySues, GaryStus, and the like? They are to be ridiculed, studied, and then shot. In that order.
What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron? He should not have to deal with Neena.
What do you think of Neena Sueling? She's quite cute, in a devilishy evil sort of way.
How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you? A subtle combination of yelling and bribery.
How would you discipline Neena Sueling? How would anybody discipline Neena Sueling?
Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving? As long as no Sues are involved.
Do you like pets? Yes
Do you like spiders? I'm not bothered
Do you like Wargs? I've never met one myself
Have you heard of Muffin, and if yes, what are your views on… It? It is a suitable companion for Neena. That was not a compliment.
Do you have any combat skills? A little fencing and I'm at brown belt level in martial arts.
Alright. Let’s try a little word association test, shall we?
Men. Women (we all need some lovin')
Elves. They're not all blond.
Dwarves, I'll let them live
Valar. Eru
Butterfly. Crushable
Leggy. RIDICULOUS
Sauron. Exactly like Neena
Minas Tirith. Denethor en flambèe.

Cheers for updating! x

What is your name? Maygn
Where are you from? Atlanta
Age, gender, hair color, general appearance. Female, 30. Brown hair, blue eyes.
What are your views on MarySues, GaryStus, and the like? Disgusting creatures, the lot of them
What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron? Oh, he’s just yet another ruler. I mean, he couldn’t be that much worse than Denethor could he?
What do you think of Neena Sueling? An adorable little dear who simply has a bit of energy.
How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you? Speak softly and carry a wooden spoon.
How would you discipline Neena Sueling? See above wooden spoon
Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving? If she’s prepared to accept the extreme discipline of the wooden spoon.
Do you like pets? Generally.
Do you like spiders? Yes as they get rid of nasty mosquitoes
Do you like Wargs? As long as I don’t find them biting or scratching the furniture, much less peeing on it.
Have you heard of Muffin, and if yes, what are your views on… It? I’m sure It just needs to be taken to a doggy school of training. What’s that you say? Muffin’s not a dog? Well, just take it to the nearest school of training for er, whatever species Muffin is
Do you have any combat skills? I have my wooden spoon.
Alright. Let’s try a little word association test, shall we?
Men. Hormone-ridden slobs
Elves. See above but a more-female version
Dwarves, hairy
Valar. Yes dear, that’s very nice
Butterfly. They belong outside, not in
Leggy. I refuse to suffer the indignation of hearing in my presence such a ridiculous name for any man or elf in my hearing. No male has ever done any evil that would deserve being called that name. If you say that name again, I shall take my wooden spoon to you.
Sauron. Nice enough, I suppose
Minas Tirith. A nice enough city, but the stench can be a bit much.

I recently came across your story and as I was reading through it probably laughed loud enough to wake the dead. I love the characters of Koss and of Neena (and her spider-warg). The idea of Sauron winning but then having Mary Sue and Gary Sue problems is priceless! I too despise stories that contained the previously said problems. There is nothing worse than discovering that a story that sounded pretty good in its summary is poorly written in the following manner. I particularly despise the short-hand typing styles combined with poor grammar, Mary Sues, and poor/no plot. No offense to those who write these types of stories, but I could write better than them by the time that I was eight and got my first piece published by the time I was 13… the fact that they write like that makes me wonder how they ever survived their literature class teachers…

Now for an actual review (albeit a short one). Surprising, no?

Neena's perspective was pretty cool; I can't recall ever having read in her POV. The Cleaning Goblins - poor things. Overworked and most likely not paid.

...Evilman 47. 'Um' is all I have to say on the subject of his name. Je suis currently wondering who and/or what he is. Which was, no doubt, your intention, among other things. 'Plane shift'...
-ponders-

Sable

What is your name?
Marie.

Where are you from?
Las Vegas.

Age, gender, hair colour, general appearance.
14; female; dark brown. I’m 5'3, African-American, have shoulder-length-ish dreadlocks, and I wear square-ish glasses.

What are your views on MarySues, GaryStus, and the like?
They deserve to be experimented with. There are always new torture methods to be devised and lethal concoctions to create.

What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron?
He was way cooler as a giant eye… it was much more EVIL. He’s still to be feared, though. (And laughed at mentally.)

What do you think of Neena Sueling?
She’s… for want of a better word… interesting. Wait, there’s a better word: destructive. (Excellent… as long as there’s a Sue maimed/killed.)

How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you?
Bribery. One Sue/Stu to… ah, play with… a day, two if she’s very, very good.

Hey, the Sues have to be killed in some way. Their numbers aren’t exactly decreasing.

How would you discipline Neena Sueling?
Time Out in a very, very pink room with adorable things, without Muffin.

Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving?
Yes.

Do you like pets?
I don’t really like birds… they’re annoying. Other than that, sure.

Do you like spiders?
Only venomous ones, and as long as they don’t bite me.

Do you like Wargs?
As long as they don’t eat my pencils. –loves writing-

Have you heard of Muffin, and if yes, what are your views on… It?
Yeah, I’ve heard of It. It is something to be tolerated and sometimes liked. If It touches my pencils… woe to Muffin.

Do you have any combat skills?
I’m an average archer and I have a more-than-average knowledge of poisons and pressure points. Swords are just something for me to avoid using totally.

Alright. Let’s try a little word association test, shall we?

Men - Hormones.

Elves – Pity.

Dwarves – Moria.

Valar – Mandos.

Butterfly – Prey.

Leggy – Stupid nickname.

Sauron. – World domination.

Minas Tirith – Flaming Denethor.

I just stumbled across this story and read it in one sitting. Fabulous. Utterly wonderful. I would also like to apply for the position of the Royal Nanny.

What is your name?
Laura
Where are you from?
South Carolina USA
Age, gender, hair color, general appearance.
18, female, brunette, I'm really pale and 6ft2 with blue eyes, God that reads like a Mary Sue, must resist urge to stab...
What are your views on Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and the like?
*Is picturing shoving a Mary Sue into a small dark room with Shelob and laughing.*
What are your views on the Dark Lord Sauron?
I feel Sauron is an excellent Dark Lord, though a tad shortsighted...the whole bested by a small Hobbit thing. THAT TOTALLY NEVER HAPPENED LIKE EVER...
What do you think of Neena Sueling?
Neena will become the most feared being to ever walk Middle-Earth. If she isn't already.
How would you make sure Neena Sueling listens to you.
Kidnap Muffin, paint him pink and suspend him from a cliff over Mini Mount Doom until the little brat behaves.
How would you discipline Neena Sueling?
Take away Figwit priviledges.
Are you prepared to accept the consequences of Neena Sueling misbehaving?
That would imply that my methods are less than sucessful, and capable of failing. They are not.
Do you like pets?
What kind of pet? Pink Unicorn/Dragon/Dinosaur that sings, flies and breathes happy pixie dust with sprinkles. No. I like dogs though.
Do you like spiders?
If they are eating Sues, then yes.
Do you like Wargs?
Who doesn't?
Do you have any combat skills?
I'm not at liberty to disclose that information at this time.
Alright. Let’s try a little word association test, shall we?
Men
Foolish mortals that are easily disposed of and are quite amusing when they scream in terror/pain.
Elves
Bunch of pretty boys and pansies. They're all leaving anyway.
Dwarves
Warg/Uruk/Orc fodder
Valar
Should be treated with respect until such time as a plan can be devised to overthrow them.
Butterfly
Should be destroyed on sight.
Leggy
A pretty boy that may be useful for invading The West at a later point in time.
Sauron
See Valar
Minas Tirith
An excellent stronghold that would be useful should the mortals attempt to overthrow the Dark Lord.
Again please consider me for the position of "Royal Nanny" and it really is an excellent story. Were I to not make the cut for "Royal Nanny" a new chapter would make me feel much better. Hint, hint.