continue please!

Oh! I am in love with this chapter. I think I am going to read it again right now. It's wonderful! First it's sad and dark and you can feel Edmund's pain, his tortured mind... It makes my heart ache. And then comes in Aslan and saves him! How glorious and resplending - the great Lion comes down upon his child, not worth anything really but still irreplacable in his eye. Yes, humans are not perfect and Edmund's guilt just made my love for him grow bigger. How human he is, but how sweet and brave and big-hearted.

Awww! Usually we see a high Peter, a confident, glorious Peter - Peter the truly magnificient. But it's true that he must have felt uncertain at some point - How can a 14 year old with such high responsabilities placed upon him not be?

It's funny - I don't like Susan very much but your in this chapter I can feel with her and learn to appreciate her more... Maybe next time I'll read the book I won't feel as dismissive of her?

I really, really like this. I love the character of Edmund anyway and I think you did great in exploring his situation after having been forgiven - because maybe he might be the only one to not have forgiven himself...

Oooh very nice. I am often a Lucian hermit, only peeping out beneath the rock (it can't be more than a pebble really!) occasionally. But as you took the time to review my one shot, I daresay I can take a bit of time out of my oh so busy schedule to R&R yours. Thank you for this!

I have to say, even though the three chapters before it were marvelous to say the least, the last chapter took my breath away. I did as you recommended- amazing song by the way- and the words just meant so much more. I felt Edmund's regret and, as said, "Imperfection". His dreams tore at my heart and how he felt so bad for dreaming them... it was all too much. Very realistic, and breathtakingly so. I love how the feelings and actions flowed through the words beautifully, as the pace was just right and the content even more so amazing.
You are amazing writer; it seems as though you tap into the minds of the characters themselves and it gives me the chills. In a good way, as in your fantastic writing, of course. As Edmund has always been my favorite character just for his drastic change in personality and views and his experiences (with the White Witch and nearly and unintentionally having his siblings killed and just bearing the White Witch at all, she was horrid to him specifically and just horrid in general) just made me love him instantly. And this story has amplified it tenfold. Just breathtakingly fantastic writing and just... wow.
There is nothing else more to say but that this story was heartbreakingly wonderful. And that you are, again, an amazing writer. I hope you go on to be very successful in you endeavours.
Good day to you and may all your days be fruitful! :)
Zellarest

That was a really good story. I like how you have Aslan explain to Edmund the importance of his sacrifice.

Lovely story :-)

This is good so far. I will read more.

Just read all four chapter you protrayed all of them so well. Showing the doubts and also showing that within each of them there was the somrthing that would help narnia.

Love the last chapter with Edmund as he stumbled around trying to sort out his role and forgiveness. Like also how you showed that even Aslan has his scars. One that would remind everyone what he did for Narnia and Edmund for his family as he said to peter "I just want my family safe" The power of a parent knows no bounds. Great story well done.

It was so powerful and solemn and perfect until suddenly Edmund swore - that felt totally out of place in the flow of the chapter and out of character for him as well as for the emotional turmoil he's faced. A bit of a pity, really.
But still! A very good chapter, especially the awful nightmares slipped in, and how it's implied that he would rather die than dream - or worse, live - something similar for his people: they really convey Edmund's internal struggle.

Oh, poor Edmund. Such a hard time he has. I'm glad he finally sees what he's worth and that he, too, is needed. I'm not sure why he swore, though. It seemed out of place to me.

Wow. Six years. I'm impressed. Well done.

Awwww . . . LOVED the ending. Poor Peter takes so much on himself. Beautifully done!

This seems to spark something in his memory, as he peers off into space looking thoughtful before remarking, "Do you remember, in England, we learned a piece in catechism…I can't remember exactly…I think it went something like 'calling things that are not as though they are'? That's how I think Aslan sees us."

That's perfect. :D